Monday, 21 May 2018

Review: Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration


 So I don't know if you've heard but we've worked with Satisfyer a whole bunch and they are lovely. When their rep, Sally, reached out to us about trying out the new range, we were stoked -- the line combines their brand's trademark suction with the classic sex toy staple of vibration. And this is how I got my calloused little fingers on the aptly-named Pro Plus Vibration.

First impressions? Well, the boomerang-shaped design is apparently ergonomic, which I am still a bit mystified by. I can't really think of why this is more functional than, say, the next generation Penguin or the Pro 2 -- personally, I think the designers just wanted something striking that would visually separate it from the rest of their product range. I still find the Penguin easiest to position accurately, due to its short, compact size and rounded body. It's the suction toy I reach for most, and yet it has the smallest nozzle-opening out of all the Satisfyer toys I've tried so far, which basically means that the surface area available for clitoral suction is more limited. Despite this, I've found it quick to place and simple hold steady even hands free, and (unlike Minerva) I don't even have the most thunderous of thighs to anchor it in place.

Secondly, the vibrations of this toy are loud. Like, way loud. The suction function is at about the same volume as the rest of the line, but switching to vibration-mode is a different story. It starts out fairly sedate but ramps up to a tinny, buzzing whirr that definitely announces "Oh hi, I am using a sex toy because it's 10.30 in the evening and the sound you're hearing is definitely not power tools" to everyone in the next room. Realistically, it would probably be fine if you have a thick duvet to muffle it with, but alas, a thin fluffy comforter just won't cut it. So basically, my housemates have probably heard a thing or two. Which is fine, I guess, but personally I am more likely to use this toy when I'm home alone.

The Pro Plus Vibration has a nice wide nozzle opening and therefore, theoretically, has a decent area range -- and yet I often really struggle to get the positioning quite right. I don't know if it's the nozzle or the shape of the toy that make it hard to adjust, but I battle to position this toy in a way that makes sense for my body. The first ten minutes of using the Pro Plus Vibration is always just lifting it and placing it and lifting and placing and moving and shifting a little up, a little down, trying to get it to a place that feels consistently good, but never quite get there. It may be the long spout/barrel area -- the nozzle-end of the boomerang is long enough for me to shove almost the entire length of my pinkie into without even reaching the end, and I just feel like that's unnecessarily long? Like, okay, I'm making a lot of comparisons to the Penguin here but I really find it the easiest to use, and the spout/barrel/head of the Penguin is a fraction of the size. The diminutive dimensions just seem less liable to get in the way of fleshy thighs, making those position adjustments less likely to be necessary.

In terms of suction intensity, it's comparable to the rest of the range. I would say that the smaller nozzle area of the Penguin makes the sensation feel more 'concentrated,' but the strength feels the same in the Pro Plus Vibe. I switched between the two of them, just using them on my arm with my eyes closed, and the difference is minimal with regards to power.

But hey, you're not here to hear how two suction toys are similar -- you want to know what's new and fun. The real difference between this toy and its predecessors is the fact that it incorporate both suction and vibration. You can use each sensate function separately or (gasp) combine them for ultimate power, which I was pretty excited about. I mean, it's only natural to wonder, right? Maybe you're using a suction toy for the first time, getting used to the sensation, it's pretty great, and you can't help but imagine the new suction feeling being combined with the vibration you know so well. It's the best of both worlds, the ultimate in clitoral overload, the cherry on top of decadence. And yet it was not to be. I found it really difficult to get off with this toy in dual-mode. Like, really difficult. Maybe that's just it -- the overwhelming overstimulation is desensitising. It might be the quality of the vibration (buzzy, three speeds, a few patterns), or the shape (see above); but I genuinely prefer the toy to remain just on suction mode. The vibrations don't work for me by themselves, yet both together is just overwhelming in the most underwhelming way. I guess I just wasn't up to wielding this mighty power.

This toy is a fun addition to a collection, but if you're looking for something that could be both a vibe and a suction toy, you might be better off accepting your fate and getting two separate external toys. This was a lot of fun to try, but unless you know that you enjoy surface-level, more buzzy vibrations, I wouldn't recommend investing in it for the vibration function. My advice? Rather get yourself a Satisfyer that focuses on the suction that made the brand famous. But hey, that's just me.

Thanks again to Satisfyer for providing us with this toy in exchange for an honest review! Check them out at the links below.

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