Review: Satisfyer Pro Penguin

Recently, we were lucky enough to have received two Satisfyer products in exchange for our honest review! The Satisfyer range is a line of suction-based toys that provide sensations comparatively new to the sex toy world, working with gentle pulses of air to create sensations that claim to be pleasantly unfamiliar to the average vibrator user. We were both incredibly excited to receive our products. Thanks, Satisfyer!

When I opened the box, my first thought was “Oooooh, pretty! Wait, what? How the - ?”

Yep. I’ve never experienced a suction toy before, and when I saw the Penguin, it was a bit confusing. My body is used to vibration, and working with a completely different kind of stimulation means that you need to change your tactics, as it were. But don’t be daunted; after a very quick Google session, I learned that it’s ridiculously easy to use. So, review cut short (spoiler alert): it has rapidly become one of my favourites in my toy drawer.

I suppose I can describe it as providing the closest simulation of oral sex that I currently have. But that wouldn’t really be right. It’s more what I often fantasize oral sex to be. It’s a machine, after all. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just start at the beginning. The Penguin looks just like that: a sort of cartoony hourglass ABS plastic penguin shape with a silicone nozzle. Which, handily enough, is detachable for better cleaning. Yay, easy cleanup! However, the toy is also completely waterproof, and doesn’t need lubricant in order to function. This was quite a big deal for me, because I find that lube is more or less a necessity in my own play activites. Because you don't need additional lubricant, the Penguin is really great for bath-time (jussaying). It charges via USB, so you don’t have to rely on batteries and you can pretty much charge it anywhere. Also, the charger is magnetic! So it doesn’t give you slight anxiety when using it underwater or during clean-up. And you feel fancy. It has two buttons, one to turn on and off, and one to adjust settings. It has eleven vibration settings -- yes, eleven. All power settings; no patterns. I’ve only ever gone up to five and that gives me crazy powerful orgasms. I laid the toy against my hand to test the further settings, and the further you go, the more it becomes like a vibration and less like the pulsating suction, so that’s an adventure to look forward to!

It’s also extremely quiet! The first time I turned it on was just to see how it even worked so I had nothing against the nozzle, and it made this terrible loud noise similar to a tiny Kreepy Krawly having been dragged out of the water. It was a bit alarming. Fortunately, the moment it was laid against my palm it become dead quiet. Whenever I use it, it produces even less sound than any of my vibrators. This is pretty reassurring because I live with housemates and like my privacy.

It also boasts that it is hands-free, so I had to put that claim to the test. Surprisingly, it can be, yes. I started off using it with my hands, but then discovered that if I closed my legs and it laid between my thighs, it felt even better and became complete hands-free. Cunningly, it is shaped perfectly for that position, so whether you have a thigh gap or are like me and have thighs of the Amazons, it will still sit snugly and perfectly without any help whatsoever.  Feel free to challenge me on that, but I'm certain that anyone will be able to find a placement that will make it work. I was also very impressed with how easily it can be placed on your clit and doesn’t get dislodged. I found I can move quite a bit with it, without losing position. This is something that I did not expect at all. In terms of shape and functionality, it’s a very well designed toy! My only issue with it is that the nozzle has the tendency to pop out from time to time. It's not enough for me to find it problematic, but is definitely something  to be aware of. Don't lose the nozzle, friends. You will be very sad not to have this sensation in your life.

So yes, basically the Penguin blows me away (hehehe, pun intended). I tend to love my external toys and this one is amazing. Whether you’re just looking for a quickie, or settling in to have a nice long session of me-time, it’s a fabulous one to invest in. And if you're used to vibrators and looking for a new kind of stimulation, this will definitely be a departure from the norm. Treat yoself.

Thanks again to Satisfyer for providing us with this toy! Check them out at the links below.

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