Review: MEO Pocket Slapper

As regular readers are aware, we're trying to expand our review repertoire and improve the diversity of what we post by branching out into some BDSM-friendly implements. Also, perhaps we're just a wee bit kinky. Nevertheless, I'm still a bit of a wuss when it comes to impact play. Wooden paddles look too rigid and intimidating for my tender, unconditioned butt; yet I'm interested in exploring. Fortunately, the team at MEO sent me a glorious box of fun containing a variety of really excellent hitty things, including a great starter toy -- their Pocket Slapper (this link is NSFW so exercise caution).

As the name suggests, this little guy is small enough to be casually slipped into the back pocket of a pair of jeans and this renders it more adorable than terrifying. More like a pomeranian than a pit-bull, which suits me fine as I am a sucker for cute things. As a novice, the diminutive size and flexible construction of this impact tool seemed more approachable than an unforgiving wooden paddle, and I was correct. This toy provides just enough sting to be noticed, but I've never actually felt hurt by it. The surface area is too large to provide a whipping sting like our recently-reviewed Dragon Tail, but not large enough to really thwack down with power and might. Or perhaps that's just because I've been wielding it with a lighter hand?

After all, I've mostly been using it for the percussive effect. Kinkly defines a slapper as "provid[ing] a sensation similar to those of paddles, but with a little extra 'slap' from the second layer of leather." Indeed, the MEO Pocket Slapper has an extra layer of leather which creates a disproportionately loud whacking noise, even for a gentle swat. This can really mess with your head as the sound may make you jump despite the sensation being manageable, which could be a lot of fun. The added drama of the noise provides some shock value, potentially tricking your partner into believing that they are taking harder slaps than they really are, and my tender and unbruised butt is a fan of such devious misdirection. Other than the feeling of accomplishment this may provide, it also means that this would be a wonderful tool for beginners who want to explore some low-risk impact without missing out on the psychological effects. The only potentially negative implication of this is that it does mean that this toy gets a bit noisy at times, so if you have housemates or live in an apartment with thin walls, it might be a good idea to put on some ambient tunes to act as white noise.

I'm super happy with this great little tool. The construction and materials can't be faulted -- the leather is thick and sturdy, featuring a loop for easy hanging storage and a tiny red tag depicting the MEO branding on the non-impact side. It's minimalist, and I like it. Even the packaging is low-key -- a simple plastic sleeve and a small pamphlet about caring for leather. An occasional wipe with a damp soapy cloth and some semi-regular conditioning (I use plan ol' Dubbin) will make this toy last years; if not indefinitely. I almost wish I could say more, but like ... there's nothing wrong with this handy little slapper and I have no constructive criticism. It just does its job.

Is this slapper for you? As a beginner, I would wholeheartedly recommend it as an excellent entry-point for fellow lightweights looking to explore. It also helped reassure me: hey, impact stuff isn't so bad! I actually feel like I might be emotionally ready to level up from this little guy. But hey, even if you're a more experienced practitioner, you may find the Pocket Slapper handy for smaller, targeted areas on the body, or perhaps as a warm-up tool before switching out to something more intense. Either way, I think this toy has some great potential for a variety of skill levels.

Thanks again to MEO for working with me and sending me such a great selection of goodies! I loved their service as well as their toys, and would highly recommend taking a look at their stock. As always, be certain that you're on a safe network away from the eyes of minors before checking out the MEO website as it can be quite explicit. When you can, you should check out what other BDSM delights they have to offer and say hi on social media -- they are a wonderful team of humans.

Website  ♡  Instagram  ♡  Tumblr  ♡  Twitter

Review: Tantus Dragon Tail

I mentioned in a previous review that Minerva and I are looking to expand our toy-testing repertoire with more BDSM implements, and with this in mind, I present to you our first impact toy, the Dragon Tail by Tantus! This female-founded company is well-known for providing quality, body-safe silicone toys in a wide variety of fabulous colours (including copper -- wow!), and have some pretty fab customer service. Beaux, their social media manager, was kind enough to hook me up with this toy in exchange for an honest and unbiased review, and I am stoked that they did because I love this little slapper.

I'm new to impact play, but even so, I'm aware that silicone is one of the most hygienic materials to use for any physical play. Unlike leather, it won't get water-damaged and is easy to clean with a mild soap. You can even sterilise it using boiling water or a soak in 10% bleach solution. Why is this important? Well, like anything, the surface of the skin is rife with bacteria. This is normally not a problem -- that is, until you start sharing. If you're pretty active in the BDSM community and enjoy engaging in impact activities with a bunch of people, it's a good idea to clean your toys between each use. Scabies, athlete's foot, ring worm, even herpes simplex can be transferred by skin contact; and while that is unlikely, you don't want your play to be restricted.

In addition to all of the above, silicone is also vegan, so that's a win in my book.

As for me, I've never tried any form of paddle before. Truthfully, I was not prepared for the stinging bite this little guy packs. The first time I gave myself a cautious hit it was through a pair of thin cotton leggings -- not exactly sturdy, but hey, it wasn't bare skin. Even a cautious whip left a burning afterglow on my thigh, and I didn't even put my whole arm into the swing. The flexible silicone means that the slim tip of the Dragon Tail rockets through space much faster than you would expect, which accelerates much faster than you bring it down. This creates a frighteningly stingy impact that could definitely leave a welt or two if you really got into it. Skilled practitioners could really use the point for some seriously targeted pain, hitting small, pinpoint areas with fiery precision. Or you could just, you know, slap the whole thing on someone's body, which works too. A broader stroke feels less stingy as the impact is spread out over a larger surface area, but you will definitely feel that simmering, stinging sensation that I've become familiar with when using this toy. Beware the pointed tip -- it reaches truly dangerous whiplike speeds and can be very painful. Play safe, friends!

So far I've really enjoyed the sensation it provides when making contact with the upper back , butt, and thighs. This toy is easy to use by yourself thanks to the long handle and flexible point, which provides a good whack even with limited room to swing. I feel like this could be great for people who are disabled or otherwise have limited mobility, as the effort required is pretty minimal in comparison to, say, swinging a wooden impact toy. As with all impact play, avoid delicate areas such as the face, hands, and neck; but the usual encouragement to shy away from direct hits on bones isn't so necessary in this case. Because it's not rigid like wood or stiff like leather, it's a bit more forgiving and limits the harshness of the thud.

But sometimes I don't always like stingy slaps, I metaphorically hear you cry. Do not despair, dear reader! You can just flip the toy pointy-end down and beat your chosen subject with the handle! It's probably not intended for use that way, but I'm too punk-rock for rules. Using the handle like a truncheon creates a really solid, thwacky thud that could probably leave some cute little pinpoint bruises if you really went to town, and I kind of like that you could use it both ways. Surprise your partner and mix up the sensations without even needing to switch toys. I can imagine that a blindfold would really make this little trick effective, especially if you enjoy the element of surprise. Just imagine the possibilities!

For those that enjoy even more surprise, I have to let you know that the handle of this toy is also safe for anal play. The body-safe silicone is easy to sterilise and clean (although the hole at the end meant to incorporate a loop for easy hanging is discomforting -- I feel the cons outweigh the pros in this case), allowing the pointy end to protrude from the body like a real tail. If you're into comedy, the flexible silicone of the triangular end would additionally allow for some amusing self-spanking to occur with an enthusiastic butt-wiggle or two. And hey, who doesn't enjoy butt wiggles? Fascists, that's who.

Basically, this is an incredibly versatile tool to have in your arsenal, whether you're an experienced practitioner in impact play or a novice just trying it out. This toy is stingy and thuddy, insertable or not; it's great for those that play with multiple people because it can easily be sterilised between partners, and it's flexible enough to be folded up and shoved into a jacket pocket for surreptitious transportation. What's not to love? Personally, I'm very happy to have been able to start exploring impact play with this cute little implement, and I would highly recommend it as part of any curious beginner's BDSM starter-kit. It's also packaged in a minimalist-chic clear plastic sleeve, so you're not even paying extra for fancy wrappers you'll probaby end up discarding anyway.

Like what you see? Check out Tantus and the rest of their impact range! Or just say hi on social media; they're nice.

Website  ♡  Facebook  ♡  Reddit  ♡  Twitter  ♡  Instagram  ♡  Pinterest 

 

Story Time: Hormonal Changes During Egg Donation

I'm leading up to my fourth egg donation, and each time has been different. Donation is a stressful process; your body is full of artificial hormones meant to kick your ovaries into hyperdrive and you need to go through a pretty invasive procedure, which can be very upsetting. It definitely was for me -- you can read more abut my first donation here, but a general summary is that the personal situation I was in was not the best. I had a very serious partner who supported my bodily autonomy but did not understand why I would donate eggs yet not want children myself. He badly wanted children and the donation brought the incompatibility within our relationship to the forefront. It ended shortly afterwards, as it would have eventually, only sooner.

Since then, I have done two additional donations and have a third scheduled near the end of the year. South African law allows donors to donate seven times in total between the ages of 18-33. I'm almost 30 and would have liked to donate to my fullest capability while I am still eligible, but I'm starting to re-evaluate that. I have, however, tried as best as I can to donate to LGTBI+ recipients as much as possible. My first donation was to a heterosexual couple; the second was the very first instalment in an egg bank which may have multiple recipients. The third and upcoming fourth donation recipients have been in same-sex relationships, and I really, really want to maintain this as much as possible.

My reasoning behind this is due to simple allyship. I'm a pretty basic cishet girl. Although I would love to be more involved in the LGTBI+ community, the circles I run in are just too ... straight. As I like to say to Minerva, "I have sunned myself in the gay beaches and dipped my toes in the gay ocean, but have never swum in the gay seas."

This, to me, is a way to make a meaningful difference to someone's life. By prioritising recipients on the queer spectrum, I can make that difference in such a lasting and meaningful way. I can finally achieve my goal of subverting the heteronormitive patriarchy with my uterus. My genetic offspring could have the rainbow-friendly childhood I would have wanted for myself.

Despite all this, it's still a massive ordeal. Here's a crash course of Weird Stuff Your Body Does During Fertility Treatment.

• Brain fog. This was the most annoying thing about being on the drugs. I would inject and feel hazy/spacey for a few hours afterwards. This was often accompanied by:
• Jitters. I'd feel sort of hollow and anxious, a little clattery. It wasn't anything noticeable in terms of tics; my heart-rate just seemed higher and I would feel shaky. This and the brain fog would feel a lot worse after my usual brisk walk on the treadmill, and would often be alleviated after I had a meal. Even the mental effects seemed more manageable after getting some carbs into my system. I blame my snacking on the hormones.
• Crying. My emotions were turned way up. I cried when a sex toy I had ordered for my birthday arrived one day late. I cried when I couldn't find my preferred snacks in stock. At one point, I had a pretty normal interaction with my partner and somehow became convinced he was about to break up with me. My housemate had to sit me down and say, kindly, "There is no feminist way of saying this, but your emotions are not real."
• Bloating. At the end of hormone treatment, your ovaries are roughly the size of oranges. No joke. I enjoy asking the doctors how big they are during the scans (a golfball! a nectarine!), which may be a touch body horror for some people. Even taking this into account, you retain a bunch of water. I don't know if any of it is actual fat gain, but you just generally feel larger.
• Weird abdominal pains. You have giant ovaries now. This is your lot in life.
• Hair loss. I experienced something similar with the Mirena IUD. Now I've lost about a third of my hair. It bothers me more than I'd like to admit, although the doctor says it should recover.
• One absolutely rampant experience with diarrhoea. This happened with my first donation and fortunately not again. However, I am committed to following the trend of attributing it all to the hormones.
• Your post-donation period is messy. I left a literal trail to the bathroom one morning.
• General low-key trauma. While consensual, it's an unpleasant experience.

Despite this, it's not all doom and gloom! There are some rad pros that come with hormone therapy:

• The Glow. Ah, the fabled Glow of ovulating or pregnant women. The hormones that indicate to those around you, hey, I am fertile and magnificent. I did not notice The Glow, but my housemate made the connection. He just said that he'd caught himself noticing my skin had been looking particularly rad before he'd thought to ask how long I'd been on the juice. This was corroborated by a few of my friends and I choose to accept it.
• That is all. Just The Glow.
• You are a shining beacon of fecundity and oestrogen. You are mesmerising. Pro tip: weaponise The Glow to lead unsuspecting sailors to their deaths. Your siren-call of hormonal glory cannot be ignored.

Does anyone else have any strange experiences after fertility treatment? Any cases of medical professionals not being aware of the side effects? Tell me your tales of woe.