Mirena Removal Update

A while ago, I wrote about my struggles with the Mirena IUD. It's still one of the most popular posts on this blog, and for good reason -- birth control is a big deal, and can pretty much make or break your life. Even if there are no slip-ups that result in an unplanned pregnancy, your hormones govern much of your life, and even a slight shift can make living in your own body an absolute hell.

I got my Mirena removed two years before its expiry date because of unexplained weight gain, excessive hair-fall, inexplicable tiredness (and even more inexplicable sleeping problems), a persistent, tingly numbness (aka "pins and needles"). It's been a year since removal, and I've noticed some changes. If you are thinking about removing your Mirena, this is the post for you -- I had no idea what crazy stuff my body would pull on me afterwards. But let's start with the good things.

Pros: Everything is better

Firstly, weight loss. There was no dramatic change in my weight immediately after removal, but I did notice a very slow and subtle reduction of the fat that had bothered me so much beforehand. I also noticed that my energy picked up dramatically -- I no longer go through period of utterly crushing tiredness and the accompanying feelings of despair that used to make me feel even more exhausted. Because of this, I also feel more capable when I do my workouts.

My hair pretty much immediately stopped falling out the way it used to in the past. Hairdressers tell me how healthy it is. A cousin of mine was giving me a French plait and mentioned that my ponytail felt like a thick rope. Basically, my hair is flourishing and happy again. I still have to clear out occasional clumps from the shower drain, but there are no longer home-grown tumbleweeds blowing around the house.

The super-weird pins and needles feeling that used to plague me after thirty seconds of regular sitting doesn't happen any more. Why would pins and needles be a problem, you ask? Because it happened constantly, whether or not I crossed my legs or was in an odd position. It was so painful that I wouldn't be able to move, and sometimes it genuinely felt worrying -- you start wondering about your circulation when your extremities feel perpetually in danger of falling off entirely. I don't know what about the Mirena caused it (and the doctors I spoke to dismissed the correlation), but my life is honestly so much better without the near-constant tingly pain.

Cons: Weaning off the Mirena

Obviously, my life has improved without the constant hormonal influx from the IUD. It did take a while to get there though. Cutting my body off from the sweet, sweet progesterone it had become so accustomed to had some very gory consequences. Content warning: if you are freaked out by blood 'n stuff, you might wish to stop reading now.

an accurate representation

My first post-Mirena period lasted eight days and happened pretty shortly after removal, but it was no regular eight days. It was the gender-bent equivalent of 300. I couldn't always handle the regularity of the Mooncup changes -- with perhaps two hours between emptying, my sleep was interrupted and I stopped changing my sheets when I couldn't keep up with the laundry loads. Ditto pants. Sometimes, you just have to cut your losses and make peace with the fact that you'll be sitting in dried blood for a few days. I started popping a spare pair of undies along with a Ziplock baggie into my handbag when I was out for the day -- not that it mattered; the new ones would be soaked within hours anyway. My body was freaking out and using hormonal time-travel to shed uterine lining I hadn't even generated yet, and it was horrifying. When you see fleshy chunks about half the size of a golfball fall from your body, you start feeling like you've inadvertently assumed the lead in the new Alien film.

After that carnage, I didn't have another period for 43 days. My regular cycle lasts 26-28 days in total (thanks Clue!), so this was abnormal to say the least. Other than the excessive gore, it was a fairly symptom-free period -- no really awful cramps; just endless iron tablets and never enough dry pants.

Right now, I have a 'normal' period of about five days, with a manageable flow. Although my Mirena-period was very convenient in that it was present enough to dissuade thoughts of pregnancy but limited to spotting, the Tarantino-esque onslaught of carnage that followed removal really made me appreciate a 'regular' period flow again.

If you had any problems with hormonal birth control, tell me about it! Otherwise, I'd love to know if the Mirena is working for you.