Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Featured: SGP Lube Round-Up

I've tried a bunch of lubes lately, and I must say, it must take a connoisseur to do an accurate write-up about lubricant! Lube is lube is lube to me -- except when it's not. Here, I review some water-based lubricants, one of which I didn't allow near my nethers. The others were pretty good, actually.

Unfortunately, these are all overseas brands. They are available from certain retailers in SA, but, as you might have noticed, we've been trying to focus more on local retailers and products at Oh Glow. However, we might have the opportunity to review a water-based lubricant from one of our favourite manufacturers soon, so watch this space!

Pink Water

In my search for a good water-based lube, I have been trying to test out a bunch of different brands. My most dominant thoughts of Pink Water is about the scent:
Credit: SluttyGirlProblems

It smells really good – “fresh” is the only word I can really use to adequately describe it, but the closest thing to compare it to might be that it’s kind of … lemony? Not in that it smells like lemons, but just because it’s a similarly light and herbal and clean-smelling. It’s actually really nice! [...] The texture is slick and slippery without the almost greasy feel that comes with silicone lubes, so if you’re into a little extra slipperiness without any additional heaviness, you’ll probably enjoy the feel of this lubricant! However, it does taste suuuper bad – really bitter, probably from the aloe vera. Word for the wise: don’t use this lube for manual stimulation and then switch to oral, because you will have a bad time. Like, I can imagine it would make a really funny prank for a partner, but for on-the-reg oral use? Nah.

But why wouldn't I keep using this lube? Well, Google told me not to. To see why, read the full review here.

Astroglide Liquid

I didn't get on with this lube at all. It contained all of my most hated ingredients, people on Astroglide's own website claimed it caused burning pain, and it felt/tasted really bad. I had nothing positive to say about this product, and I'm so glad it was only a sample size. I mean, this is what I was working with:

The feeling of it is almost sticky, and it makes tiny little strings when you touch it and pull your hand back. Honestly, the only thing I can compare the texture to is the mucus-ey stuff left by snails. Except, like, a lot of it. Imagine a whole sachet of snail-trail. That’s what a sample size of Astroglide Liquid is like. [...] The drying phase is a bit awkward, turning thick and even stickier and making even more snail-trail strings that stretch it almost the length of a ruler. Wow! Impressive snail-trail strings! Imagine that betwixt your thighs. It also dries to a slightly oily residue, but takes forever to lose tackiness. Astroglide’s website claims that clean-up is easy, and I am glad, because I would definitely want to exorcise this from my nethers ASAP. But I would never know. Because I never allowed Astroglide Liquid past my elbow.

If you're keen to read some strong-worded non-recommendations, check out the full text here.

Jo Organic NaturaLove

As bitter as Pink Water is, Jo Organic NaturaLove is sweet and tasty! Seriously, I went a little mad for the smell and flavour of this one:
Credit: SluttyGirlProblems

[T]he scent of cookie dough was what hit me first. I squeezed a little amber-coloured gel onto my fingers and sniffed. Yep, definitely vanilla overtones. I freaking love vanilla. The lube smelled almost good enough to … yeah, it’s definitely delicious. It actually has an almost caramelised vanilla-extract taste that only intensified my cookie dough first impression. It’s sweet in a way that was unfamiliar to me, and I wasn’t quite sure where the taste came from until I checked out the ingredients. [...] It turns out that the sweetness comes from agave extract, as well as an unnamed (but apparently organic) flavour/aroma enhancer. I think the chamomile extract might also have something to do with the scent, but I don’t really care. I just want a really giant tub of this to eat with a spoon. Unfortunately, this was not to be, and I had to use it as lube instead. OH NO.

I loved using this lube, and if you're a hippie looking for a lubricant as organic as your lifestyle, have a look at my full review here.

No comments:

Post a Comment