Ten Best Things I've Done For My Mental Health

Mental health is more topical than ever before. As South Africans resign themselves to the extended lockdown, many assume that it's not going to get much easier. Even at the end of the lockdown period, the lift will be gradual. Most of the population needs to settle in for the long haul. Even in the "after," things will not be "normal."

We're going to need to find a new normal. But we'll get there.

Quite some time ago, Kate Sloan of GirlyJuice wrote this piece about mental health which resonated with me at the time, and now is the best time to take that prompt and run with it. So here's my list.

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Noticing the little things

One of my favourite parts of the day is around 14.30 when the light hits the little faceted crystal suncatcher in the window just right and spreads rainbows everywhere. Even better is when you spin it for a disco-ball effect and the cats go wild. It's double delight -- rainbows and cats being silly.

Painting my nails with one of those clear topcoats that have some kind of shimmer or glitter is similar. Just for context, I rarely paint my nails because it's so disappointing when it inevitably chips and ruins it all, but the glitter topcoat seems like a winner because it's more subtle and doesn't show flaws. Also, I'm always pleasantly surprised to catch sight of a twinkle when I move my hands. It's like unexpectedly finding a sweet you forgot about.

Using stuff is another act that feels like a treat. Lighting candles at night and burning incense during the day makes me feel really great. It feels kind of luxurious somehow; as if I'm really treating myself even though both of these are super easy to come by and affordable as well.

Enjoying nature

I love forest walks. I love them! I like going on adventures outdoors, walking around and listening to podcasts, enjoying fresh air and outdoorsy smells, and looking at cool things. Finding a weird little path that you're not sure is a dry stream or an animal trail or a legit hiking path and following it to find out is like crack to me. It's one of my favourite things. Looking at green shxt? Yes. Mossy log with mushrooms on it? A treasure. Weird Tarzan vines? Not gonna test them; but glad they're there all the same.

Of course, we can't get outside right now. But I am thankful daily for my houseplants. They make the house look more homey and natural and happy and I like the ritual of caring for them weekly and seeing them thrive. Every time I trim a leggy vine and stuff it in some soil to propagate I'm like yesss I am master over life ... and death. Anyone can do the same a twig of spekboom and a jar of water.

My houseplants and the act of opening a window for fresh air to watch the sky as the sun sets does help me feel like the staleness of the inside is more bearable.

Keeping a sleep schedule

Okay, this is the most boring item on the list. But my mental health suffers when I don't get enough rest. What helped was setting a bedtime alarm and actually sticking to it. It makes me feel like an old person but I'm much happier for it.

Maintaining order

Routine is important to me, and I have all sorts of little rituals and techniques I use to cope with life that may not seem sensible to others. It helps give me structure and makes me feel better about my day.

Similarly, I realised that an important part of my wellbeing is keeping things orderly and neat. It's boring but true! During lockdown I have the ability to do stupid stuff like pack the clean dishes away as I'm waiting for the kettle to boil during my workday, and it makes a real difference. General tidiness has always been a preference but now that my home is also my office, cleanliness matters to me more than it used to. I also think that the act of ordering my environment makes me feel like I have some control in my life, and that's a good feeling.

The welcome side effect is that my house is often prettier, which leads to my next point:

Curating my home space

I'm introverted and am normally quite happy spending time at home, so have put a fair amount of time into making it a comfortable and aesthetically pleasing space. I have fairy lights above my bed and in my living room (and actually use them), framed prints on the wall, and am in the process of to turning my bathroom into a scene from Jumanji. Basically, having a place that makes me look around and feel overjoyed to live in is wonderful and an enormously positive impact on my emotional wellbeing.

Dancing

I didn't often go out before lockdown, but one thing I do love to do is dance. It's an opportunity to be creative, chaining movements together and trying to create a flow that feels natural. I almost see it as a challenge -- can I vibe with an unfamiliar song? can I move to different rhythms? If the music is some kind of bizarre mashup genre (witch-house, synthwave, horrorcore), can I be just as bizarre?

One of my fonder memories was dressing to the nines and going to an event alone, dancing for two hours, and then just leaving without speaking to anybody. It was amazing -- no need to be concerned about whether my friends wanted to talk or get a drink or go home or stay out; and I didn't know anyone so I could be as weird as I liked. And let me tell you; it was a Goth club playing heavy synth remixes of classic batcave-era tunes, so it got pretty weird.

Fortunately, I can literally dance like nobody's watching so am able to enjoy such contortions in public as well as in the comforting secrecy of my home.

Quantifying cool stuff

I keep a few active lists on my phone and cloud-based apps keeping track of stuff that matters to me, or just that I find interesting. They serve a diarising purpose and help improve my sense of wellbeing. For example, one is a list of books I've finished this year; and it makes me feel accomplished because it generally feels like I don't read much. It's nice to have documented proof to reflect on.

Something I'm not as active with (but enjoyed when I was) is a running gratitude list. It has list items like "Saw a motorcycle gang with sidecars, and one had a dog riding shotgun. Wearing goggles. DOGGLES." It reminds me to find joy in life by celebrating little accomplishments or revelling in something funny.

Action-taking strategies

Sometimes I feel really powerless or stuck in a certain headspace, forced to repeat the same mental loop and spiralling deeper. When that happens, it's sometimes helpful to channel that into doing pretty much anything else. Stuff like journaling or drawing or trying to practise an instrument helps, but some people may find it helpful to write stuff down and then delete the document. Whatever works.

For example, I lost a friendship recently and was feeling sad about it, so made up my mind to work on a creative project "for" that friendship. The project had nothing to do with the friendship conceptually. But that particular friend always encouraged my creativity, so it felt fitting. It also helped me turn my focus outwards.

Exercise

Another boring-but-true one. Exercise is a chore to me, but like cleaning the house, I feel much better once I'm done. It helps me feel productive and like I'm "doing something" (see point above). A basic level of fitness and flexibility helps me feel capable. It also facilitates my ability to do other stuff I enjoy, like going on walks or sitting comfortably on the floor while at a picnic.

As described to me once, sleep and exercise are the two "magic pills" for increased wellbeing. And man, they're the hardest to do!

Looking fxcking cute

Okay. This is more obvious now in the time of loungewear, but I really appreciate the act of cultivating my appearance! Changing out of pyjamas and wearing some extremely comfortable but still "decent" clothing and a few similarly-comfy accessories makes me feel a touch more special. Anything from wearing a headband or a clip in my hair feels a little extra and fancy for me now. I've also started playing around with really natural makeup over the weekend, which is a chill way for me to feel a tiny bit more sparkly and weekend-special without judging myself for being overdone.

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If you'd like to learn more about the hard research behind happiness, I strongly recommend Coursera's The Science of Wellbeing with Professor Laurie Santos. It is free to audit (ie, consume all content without receiving grades or a certificate); and it was a little bit life-changing. I loved it.

What are your favourite ways to lift your spirits?