My sex-positive journey has brought me a long way. Part of it was realising that sex toys can add to the way one experiences pleasure, which seems obvious when I consider it now, but it wasn't always this way. I had internalised a deep distaste of sexuality, and this came with believing things that turned out to be incredibly misguided.
A while ago, I wrote an article for Slutty Girl Problems detailing some of the myths I once believed about intimate accessories, such as how people shouldn't require help getting off, and that men who use toys are weird. Here's an excerpt on why sex toys and partners are not interchangeable:
Normal human beings do not, as a rule, have a vibrate function. Neither are they ridged, rotating, covered in flexible nubs, multi-pronged or utterly, disproportionately enormous. This might be the reason why a male friend of mine, when confronted with a varied array of dildos, had to be reassured that a) these were not of ‘normal’ proportions, and b) toys aren’t a real person.
Toys can’t replace the affection, comfort and intense intimacy we can feel when we’re with someone we care about. A vibrator can’t kiss or hold you. A dildo can’t provide the experience that a human can; so it may as well not even try. Sex toys need to compensate in other ways – by being extremely good at what they’re meant to do. And why not make them rainbow-coloured and oddly-shaped while you’re at it?Fight the stigma! Read the full article here.
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