Round-Up: Best and Worst of 2018

It's been a great year for this little blog! We're still not heavy hitters in the blogging world, but in 2018 we diversified our reviews, added to our personal content, and joined a few affiliate partners for the very first time.

Therefore, it finally feels appropriate to do a round-up of what we've tried and loved in 2018, along with some stuff that just didn't work out. Let's lead with the good, shall we?

Stunners

Fun Factory Amor

Other than the Tango, this toy is my most-used of this year. I was initially a bit taken aback by its unexpected girth, but given some warm-up and a better choice of lubricant, this little insertable really grew on me. On my body, it provides very gentle G-spot stimulation but (surprisingly) is also wonderful for the A-spot as well. How? I have no idea! A-spotting toys need to be pretty lengthy, and this lil dil is not. But somehow it really works for me. The silicone is squishy and gentle on the body -- it's exactly the variety you need after owning a few more rigid insertables. A total fave.

MEO Ball Gag Berlin

This was one of the first items I tried from MEO, and it really lived up to expectations. It was everything I wanted in a gag -- solid silicone, sturdy construction, and a fancy all-black aesthetic. It also comes in different sizes! The medium is perfect for me as it allows for some good biting action without stretching my jaws uncomfortably wide. The silicone also provides a tiny bit of give so that I know my teeth won't be damaged (and yes, after spending a whole highschool career in braces, tooth safety is a big deal for me), and it just looks amazing when worn.

MEO Berlin Lockable Wrist Restraints

No bondage-babe's arsenal is complete without a set of restraints, and this glorious set of cuffs was just what I needed. These beauties are a wonderful investment piece -- padded enough for beginners just trying it out without wanting to compromise on comfort, with locking potential for seasoned kinksters looking for something a little more advanced. I love the multiple attachment points, the sturdy construction, and the sleek design. The only mild downside is that people with slim wrists may find it tricky to fasten them tightly enough, but srsly just oil them up and leave them on the tightest notch for a few days and it's fine.

Yoni Eggs Curved Obsidian Yoni Wand

This toy is beautiful! Even that alone is enough to make me sing its praises. However, it's also made out of volcanic rock that's meant to take bad vibes away, so it also makes me feel like a badass witch. Win-win! It features one bulbous end but either side could be used for extra variety, and offers excellent for G- and A-spot stimulation due to the rigidity of the material. I love its gentle curve and pretty velvet storage bag, and the fact that it comes from a wonderful Knysna-based retailer just makes me feel great about supporting local businesses. It looks like a work of art and I'm so happy to have it.

Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit

This was Minerva's stand out, number one toy of the year. She loves the variety it provides, combining internal and external rabbit-style stimulation with suction and vibration -- amaze! It's quiet, has 11 intensities for a nice gradual ramp-up in playtime, and the controls are dead simple to navigate. The construction is also vastly improved on previous models due to the redesign of the nozzle, which used to accidentally pop off and getting lost, and basically it was just a winner. Minerva's anatomy works with rabbits in general and this provided a great addition to her collection.


Unfortunately, with the highs come lows. However, there aren't many outright terrible products we've reviewed this year so the list is pretty short.

Bummers

System Jo Strawberry Oral Delight Arousal Gel

The only way I can possibly sum up this review is to hiss, Gollum-style, and scream IT BURNSSSS US! Seriously, Minerva hated the way this flavoured "arousal gel" napalmed her genitals, and I found evidence of other users experiencing the same thing. Don't get it! It's nasty and just not worth the risk.

Rocks-Off Love In Chains Kegel Balls

I started my review year off with this edgy-looking pelvic floor trainer, and it really made a bad impression. While I was a fan of the aesthetics, it just didn't translate very well in use. The silicone chin-links were pinchy and uncomfortable, the removal tag way too large, and it was impossible to properly clean. Not my vibe.

Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration

I really debated adding this final item to the list, as it isn't necessarily a bad product -- it just didn't work for my body. Although we have another similar addition on the "Best" list, this particular line of Satisfyer toys was actually too overwhelming to work as intended for me. Combining the classic suction with generic vibration seems like a great idea, but it ended up just numbing me out in practise. I also found it super loud, which sort of put me off using it -- I have housemates and I don't really want them to be too intimately aware of my more personal routines.


And that's a wrap! What products from the list have you tried? Do you agree with our almighty judgement?

Review: MEO Short Rubber Strap with Walnut Handle

We’re reviewing something a little more on the edgy side this time – the eponymous Short Rubber Strap with Walnut Handle from MEO's HURTME range; an impact paddle with a flexible slapper that looks extremely challenging but offers surprising variety. As usual, we received the Short Rubber Strap in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. I am consistently satisfied by the quality of the products we’ve been fortunate enough to review, and would recommend them to anyone looking to step up their kink a notch. Just be aware that their site is NSFW, so ensure you’re on a safe network with no minors around when you check it out.

So, the reason I requested to review this item was to provide some variety to the fairly beginner-friendly impact goodies I’ve been investigating thus far. I liked the handle and thought the rubber would be interesting to try out. However, the time upon seeing this toy in person, my initial thought was “Ohhhh, that looks mean.” And it really does. Once you get past the appreciably-minimal packaging (a simple plastic sleeve, MEO-style), you’ll definitely be impressed by the construction. This impact toy has a beautiful walnut handle that is smooth, light, and solid in the hand, but it’s affixed to a thick slab of rubber that just looks slappy and really, really nasty. The rubber bit is smooth and featureless, with no sharp edges that might damage skin; but it’s flexible enough to provide a great deal of slap-back force with very little effort. I was concerned that I had been overambitious in my pursuits. What if I couldn’t handle it? It looks stingy. Do I like stingy things? I just don’t know!

Fortunately, I was overreacting. Turns out that this nasty boi can actually be surprisingly gentle. I love how the stylishly tapered handle feels in my palm – the wood retains a gentle warmth that’s lovely, even if the gentle weight of the handle makes it almost feel unbalanced in comparison to the heavy rubber portion. It’s all in the way you use it really. The rubber can be surprisingly forgiving: you can do gentle pats or good hard wallops; it just depends on the effect you’d like to have. I used this paddle on my thighs mostly, just because it’s the most accessible area for me, and I definitely found it to be more of a surface sting than a deep thud.

The flexibility of the rubber allows for more of a contact spread over the surface of the skin as opposed to having the direct energy transfer that more rigid and hefty tools may have. The primary pain-point is at the tip, so it will be less intense if you sort of hit closer to the centre of the paddle. Of course, this means that the paddle will curl around the impact zone, creating quite a cool wraparound effect on my thigh that provides a wider contact area and more diffused sensation. It’s actually kind of nice for inexperienced playing around if you’re cautious. Of course, if you go full-force and aim to make contact with the tip, it will sting – a lot! I was too nervous to really put my back into it, but I did get a few good whacks in and trust me – this is a MEAN implement when you want it to be. Nevertheless, it only hurts if you go for that, meaning that it can be a wonderful tool for both warm-up and more intense BDSM play.

As for cleaning and maintenance, the little care card provided by MEO was the same one used for their leather products, unfortunately; and there was no additional care instructions on the website. I did some Googling as to how best to maintain the rubber, and the most consistent advice was just to store it in a cool, dry place away from direct sun that may cause it to crack. As this is my first rubber toy, I would have liked a better idea of how to look after it, as my initial investigative forays into rubber products on the internet served only to tell me there’s different types and you can’t be sure what’s what. In any case, my accessory knowledge about the sex toy industry tells me that rubber is a porous material that can’t be sterilised. For this reason, I’d caution against allowing this toy to come into contact with body fluids and then be shared between people. Better to keep this as a one-person play item, just in case. If you’d like to read up on this, the best source I can find is Dangerous Lilly’s mega sex toy treasure trove of nerdy care tips, and I’d highly recommend taking a look even if it’s just for personal edification.

Overall, I really enjoyed trying out an impact toy with some real variety in terms of sensation. I love the construction, the appearance, and the effect – just wish it came with a little care-card so that I knew how to look after it better. Still, I would recommend this sturdy and fabulous paddle to some serious kinksters looking to add an implement with a bit of bite to their arsenal. As for the n00bs out there, maybe it would be better to start out with the lighter items we’ve reviewed, just to get into the swing of things. When you want to step it up a notch, this is your boi. 

Check out MEO at the links below (on a safe network with no kids around), and say hello to them on social media!

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