I got a big review parcel from Slutty Girl Problems recently, stuffed full sample lubes and lingerie, so I've been pretty busy testing, tasting, and trying on. Aside from the joys of receiving snail mail (especially snail mail that contains presents), lingerie is always a hit with me. Even if it doesn't quite fit or flatter entirely right, I can still pass it on to friends and spread the joy (because obviously I try it on whilst wearing underwear; I'm not a savage).
Here are my collected reviews of all the cute stuff I've received so far! I liked them all but only one really worked with my body-type and personal preferences, so the others were sent to good homes with appropriately-proportioned people.
*Disclaimer: some of the images used in the full articles don't correspond to the actual items that I received, due to availability issues.
Baci Love Angel French Maid lingerie outfit
Read the full review here.
Unfortunately, although I got this is a US size 2-14, this sizing is a bit of a lie, despite the adjustable nature of the thong and tie-straps. I’m about a US 10, and I don’t know what kind of 2-14 women this was tested on, but I think they were all fairies. I have a pretty short torso, and this outfit couldn’t encompass my dumpy little frame. Instead, it pulled up uncomfortably at the front, warped the cups all out of shape, and didn’t provide wide enough coverage for the front of the body. When properly fitted, this would lend a sexy, cut-out look to the lingerie. When incorrectly sized, it just looks silly.
[...] But wait! You should buy it!
That is, you should buy it if you’re on the lower end of the 2-14 size range, if you’re short, or if you have B-cup breasts. I loved the look of the Baci Love Angel French Maid costume set; and it’s really well-made! Honest. If you’re into fantasy lingerie, have some French Maid roleplay you’re keen to get into, or just want to put it on, dust like three things and bend over a lot while your partner is watching TV, you should get this outfit. Don’t let my bad experience with incorrect sizing stop you from being the petite French Maid of your dreams.
Sheer Lace Babydoll
Read the full review here.
Actually getting this babydoll on was trickier than initially imagined. The ribbon ties really complicate things – satin ribbon is notoriously slippery, so even a secure knot tends to slip a bit. The effect of slippage is that the cups travel away from each other, creating an unflattering-looking gap. The best way to avoid this was to smoosh the cups as close as possible so that I could tie a bow (the grownup way) to keep things together and in place. It’s easy once you know how, but initially I was frustrated with the weird cleavage-gap created by separating cups. While I understand the appeal of front ties (pull a ribbon and release your glorious cleavage to the world! Easy! Convenient! No awkward bra-unhooking required!), the lack of structured support in the form of a band also meant that the push-up effect wasn’t as dramatic as it would have otherwise been. I’m a D, and never wear push-ups in real life, so the fact that I didn’t notice any difference made me feel like there just wasn’t enough of a foundation provided by the elasticated backing.
However, once it’s on it’s a really comfortable piece of lingerie. It doesn’t itch, or dig into your skin, and the super soft fabric feels lovely. The ribbon-ties make an empire waistline that cascades elegantly downwards in two swooshing curtains. It’s sexy, but not too revealing – almost like a really fancy nightie. I could imagine wearing it around the house, floating from room to room just trying to get on with my own business as my partner followed me around with a mesmerized expression.
Baci Sexy Schoolgirl Outfit
Read the full review here.
This was my favourite outfit, and the one that worked best with my body. I love it so much because it makes me feel like a cutie princess, and I can wear it with knee-socks and a ponytail and be completely on-brand. Would recommend! The photos in the article show the mesh/lace version, but I received the more toned-down version with the regular white blouse and no lacy trimmings, which I actually like better.
The silky, synthetic fabric of the blouse also makes it a little difficult to tie securely (although perhaps this is not the point), so I found it needed a double-knot to stay in place. Fortunately, the elasticity of the fabric also allows for tying into a cute little bow, which only reinforces the schoolgirl theme. I also liked how the edges are properly finished instead of just the raw fabric on the cheap Halloween versions you often find popping up in novelty stores, making it feel more durable. As an added bonus, the seams on the shoulders actually fit my broad upper-body, dispensing with the unflattering fabric pull often present in badly-designed or ill-fitting shirts.
The skirt is my favourite part of the outfit. It’s got that cute-but-fetishistic appeal to it that I love, and it’s actually made from a very similar material to the (far frumpier) pleated skirt I had to wear in school. Plus, I discovered that it is remarkably well designed. The first time I tried it on, I had to wiggle a little to get it over my hips. The fabric is sturdier than the soft stretchiness of the blouse so has less give, and the waistband isn’t fully elasticated all the way around. Later, I discovered what I’d missed in my eagerness – there’s a zip in the side of the skirt! Not just any zip, but one of those secret fashion-style ones that are practically invisible. No wonder I’d missed it. The zip opens almost to the hem, making it incredibly easy to tear off when you need to (although why bother – it’s short and cute enough to leave on).
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