Thursday 31 October 2019

Review: Vibease

This post is something a bit different, and I guess you'll see why. We had the chance to review the eponymous flagship model sent in exchange for an honest review from Vibease. Their self-titled and adorable app-controlled clitoral/panty vibe is meant to be a fun little device that couples can use together, out in public, or even long distance. The big selling point, however, is that the Vibease pairs with downloadable erotic fiction to create an immersive story-led fantasy in which the vibrations correspond to the plot. I mean, that's the ideal ... right?

To be honest, I was most excited about the long-distance potential -- I thought it would be a cool gimmick for my LDR partner and I to play around with. You can connect securely to another partner and give over your control of the vibe to them, and even chat in-app to really set the scene. It sounds like a great idea, but alas, it was not to be. In fact, I'm disappointed that nothing seemed to work out as I'd hoped because the Vibease team was wonderful. But hey -- it's the first product they've produced, and it really was trying to do the most. At the end of the day, all I wanted was the simplicity of some good old-fashioned button controls because I am apparently satisfied with the least fancy technology -- as long as it works.

So. Let's get into it. This is the first app-controlled vibrator I've used, and I must admit that the concept was a bit mystifying. I guess fewer buttons means a sleeker design and more intuitive partner interaction, but having it be entirely commanded by a second device? Right from the start it felt like that extra step would only be extra hassle. This vibrator paired super easily with my phone -- the app sets you up really well for that, and they have a bunch of supportive documentation so that even the most technologically inept humans could figure it out. However, the connection is finicky to the point of dysfunction, flicking capriciously between connected and useless. Full disclosure: I had this toy for weeks but only tested it a handful of times before writing this review because I had such terrible experiences.

The reason for the extreme delay in reviews is that the connection problems make the device absolutely unusable. Initially, I thought it was just my phone, but that couldn't be the case as my basic-bitch Samsung works fine with pretty much any other Bluetooth device. It really just feels like issues with the Vibease itself. My new cordless headphones work perfectly, I can pair with the sound system in the gym -- even a speaker I got in like, 2012 presents no problems. So what's the problem here?

Some constructive googling showed that Bluetooth is pretty much backward compatible with anything and has worked the same since forever. Consequently, you should have no difficulty pairing with a device from 2002 in 2019, so like ... it's not that my phone can't handle it. I'm pretty sure it's just the toy. Restarting both devices helped briefly, but when I say "briefly" I mean "for literal seconds." The Vibease claims to work up to a distance of five feet and at no point was my phone more than 60cm away from the toy, so I can't imagine what the problem was.

Essentially, the connection couldn't make it through a three-minute audio clip, meaning that the entire purpose of the toy -- ie, feeling pleasurably immersed in the narrative -- is subverted. You also lose all control of the vibe because it is, of course, entirely app-controlled. After many stops and device restarts I managed to have what was possible the most unsatisfying orgasm of my life, because the vibrations die when the device loses connection. Like, cease entirely. Which means that everything feels great until it stops. On top of the frustration of losing control over the toy and having the audio progress without you, you're also just bereft of stimulation. BEREFT. It's awful and irritating and suboptimal in every way.

Almost ironically, the actual vibrations (when they happen) are good! Nice, decent, rumbly sensations emanating from a decent tapered shape that combines broader stimulation with more pinpoint potential; it all could have worked out so well. Even the app is visually appealing and easy to use. You just download your stories, hit play, and increase speed/intensity of vibration by tapping closer to the top right of the screen. The intensity is indicated by a swirl of bubbles, which animate prettily and are aesthetically satisfying to watch swirling around. I just wish I had a chance to actually enjoy the toy as it was meant to be used.

On the left is a (rare!) screenshot from the app when I actually managed to connect, and on the right is the audio erotica I never managed to fully listen to. Don't judge me for my erotica choices okay -- I never got to figure out whether it was bad or not. Anyway. See the little bubbles that indicate intensity, and how purposeless and spread out they look? More importantly, see how the Vibease-shaped icon has an ellipsis beside it? That's because this screengrab depicts a moment in which I was jabbing at my screen, frustrated at the sudden cessation of stimulation and being powerless to do anything about it. I'm not certain how one would amend the connection errors, but the problem could have been partially circumvented by just including intensity control buttons into the interface. There are already two buttons present -- an on/vibrations up button and a vibrations down button would have made the experience far less frustrating. Even if there had been connection difficulties, you'd still have a functional vibrator that you could continue to get off with "manually" as the story plays. I mean, it sort of defeats the point but would have been better than how it actually turned out. Which was -- and I cannot stress this enough -- monumentally unsatisfying.

In short, the experience was interesting in that I did get to experience a more high-tech, innovative aspect of the sex toy world that I haven't before. Nevertheless, what essentially amounted to minor technical difficulties ended up entirely undermining the purpose of this vibrator. I'm still keen to see where the company goes and what they come up with in future.

Keep in touch with Vibease at the links below!

Website  ♡  Facebook  ♡  YouTube  ♡  Twitter 

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