Review: We-Vibe Tango

There comes a time in every user’s life when they decide they need a travel vibe. A tiny, efficient little powerhouse that could hide easily in a carry-on and not look suspicious in the x-ray. My only other vibrator was a wand-style beast that would definitely provoke suspicion in airports, and while it wasn’t too obviously sex-toy shaped, you still don’t want to be given the side-eye from airport security or (heaven forbid) have to lift it out your suitcase with two hands from under a mound of underwear.

I always liked the look of the classic bullets, because they’re compact and classic and have versatility in terms of being able to be inserted into other toys, I guess, although that wasn’t exactly my primary motivation. The length of a finger and shaped vaguely like a lipstick, bullets are discreet and effective. It seemed the way to go.

In the sex-blogging community, the We-Vibe Tango is lauded as the Cadillac of bullet vibes. Reviewers sing its praises, wax lyrical over the rumbly vibrations and orgasm-inducting power; and it seemed to be the must-have of any serious collection. I managed to get it with a discount code, and never regretted a thing. All the hype is true. It’s quite possibly my favourite and most-used toy. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s get into some specs.

The contemporary Tango is actually the sister to an older, now discontinued We-Vibe product called the Salsa. In fact, the Tango sold right now is the second, improved incarnation of the same toy; with a marginally-revised shape, improved charging port and a blinking low-battery indicator. It’s available in a deep pink or a sort of cornflower blue (unless you get it as part of the We-Vibe Pleasure Mate collection, in which case it comes in a rather antiseptic white), is 9cm long and tapers slightly, with one flat side. The tip sort of looks like someone sliced it off at an angle, kind of like a lipstick. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, comes with a warranty, and is made from body-safe ABS plastic with a silicone bit at the base where the single button is.

It also comes with a white satiny storage pouch, which is pretty handy, because naturally I wouldn’t want to travel with it in its branded and photo-bedecked box. It takes a few hours to charge, which is via a couple of metal pins at the base. The charger connects to these via magnetism; a little tenuously due to the cylindrical shape of the toy, which can roll and break the connection. Once everything is immobile, the Tango has a little LED that glows steadily during charging and turns off when it’s ready to use.

So far, so good. But how does it feel?

The first time I tried the Tango, it was just after I got it and I just wanted to see what it was like. As in, I wasn’t even in the mood for anything. And still, within three minutes, the Tango was a great and resounding winner. It only has four steady modes and then four vibration patterns, with the single button cycling through each of them before turning the toy off. There’s no way of decreasing the speed without going through each of the modes – which would ordinarily bother me, but there is just no space for a second button. It also has a memory-chip that starts the toy on the last mode you used, which is a little annoying seeing as it’s generally a higher setting than I would like to start out with. I usually bypass this by cycling through all the settings until it turns off, rather than pressing and holding the button to turn it off immediately.

Because realistically, though, who would ever want to start out of the fourth and highest level? Like, that’s almost clitoral suicide. This bullet is powerful, possibly due to the strength of the motor combined with the concentrated point and the hard, vibration-transmitting plastic. Because the body is high-quality plastic, you could use whatever lube you like as well (as long as you keep silicone lubes on the business end and away from the base). The vibration patters are pretty good too, if you like that sort of thing. My favourite is the “wave” mode, which starts out slow and builds up in an ebb and flow motion, but I hardly ever use any of them. To be honest, I don’t often even get there. Due to its size and shape, the Tango provides a lot of very fine, pinpoint vibration that is unsettlingly powerful for someone who’s more accustomed to broader, more widespread stimulation. The lipstick-like tip is actually pretty good at providing different angles of stimulation, with the option of using the very point if you are curious as to what a laser might feel like as a masturbatory aid.

The Tango has become my favourite toy partially because it’s just so easy to grab and use. There’s no need to worry about whether it will run out on you even – the orange blinking of the LED will let you know when it’s time to charge. Due to its waterproof nature, it’s easy to clean (a little soap and water is fine), with no weird seams that trap bacteria. It’s palm-sized and easy to hide pretty much anywhere, and I feel perfectly confident travelling with it due to its non-representational shape. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a travel-lock function, so if you’re worried about your electronics being searched in the airport (apparently some airports like you to place all tech devices in a separate little tray for scanning), you may want to deplete it of charge first. Which might take a while because the battery life is amazing.

If you’re looking for a tiny, pinpoint, livewire of a clit vibe, this toy is for you. If you dislike really focused stimulation, maybe try something else (like the We-Vibe Touch, which has the same motor but a broader point of contact). Hide it in your pocket or purse, take it on a trip. The Tango has your back.