In case you didn’t know, Bijoux Indiscrets is a luxury
manufacturer specialising in sensual accessories, cosmetics, and really
fabulous lingerie. If you check out their about page, their focus is primarily on exploring sensuality and having
wonderfully arousing experiences, alone or with partners. Although I haven’t
tried many of their products, I am totally on board with a focus on more
sensual matters, as opposed to taking the quick and easy shortcut to climax.
Yeah, okay, sometimes you want that. But in general, I think most people prefer
how the whole moment can make you feel.
That’s what you take away in the end, isn’t it? That’s what you remember, for
months or years afterwards? The flirtation, the buildup, the hints and light
touches; the slow disrobing and caresses; the actual act of sharing that moment
in time with someone. Of making it special. The orgasms are just the cherry on
top really, and they’re not necessary for absolutely glorious sex. In fact, you
can have the best sex with all your clothing firmly on.
So I really appreciated the emphasis by Bijoux Indiscrets on
the little things – on sweet, satiny lingerie with ribbons and bows that you
can pull on, slowly, to release it to the ground with a whispery shudder; on
glittering body-jewellery that emphasises your favourite features and that you
find, later, scattered inside the folds of sheets like treasure; or fanciful masks
that emphasise your eyes from behind a wisp of lace. Perfume as an accessory,
to create a conditioned response, a signature scent that immediately sets the
mood; body-paint as a love-letter that you can lick, giggling, from stomachs
and thighs and the backs of knees in a squirming, laughing mess of sticky linen
and hand-prints. In the world Bijoux wants to create, there are always scented candles
in the bedroom and massage oil in the dresser, everything is made of satin or
embellished with jewels, and the primary colour of your life is a luxy gold.
Enter the Twenty One, the company’s first vibrator. It’s a
diamond. It’s a palm-sized, golden diamond, and it vibrates.
The first time I became aware of the Bijoux Indiscrets
Twenty One, I thought it was hilarious. A vibrating diamond? Like … what? Not
to say I thought it a bad choice, although I’m sure that some might feel it verges
on tacky. It was more that I was entertained by the amusing whimsicality of the
design. It looks more like a perfume bottle than a sex toy. Like. A golden,
vibrating diamond. What a time to be alive.
Then I won it. And this only served to entertain me more. I
laughed on and off for about three hours, sent my details, and waited for my
prize to arrive.
The Twenty One is made out of body-safe ABS plastic, is
waterproof and USB rechargeable, has a year’s warranty, a soap-and-water
cleanup, and promises strong and rumbly vibrations. As is expected from a
high-end manufacturer, the presentation is absolutely beautiful. The outer
cardboard packaging is all white and gold and striated with a subtle, geometric
design, containing a more durable black box with the company logo inlaid into
the lid. It’s a classy little flip-top, like with an engagement ring, and
briefly I imagine dropping to one knee before a potential partner and asking if
they’ll be my sex-bro for life. The vibe is sitting pretty on a tray of moulded
plastic, with the manual, charging cable, and a black storage pouch beneath. It’s
more glorious than I expected. A nice fit for the hand, with light gleaming off
the facets, my nasty little fingers left prints all over the shining surface.
This only confirmed my suspicion that the Twenty One is just too fancy for a
pleb like me. It’s charged by unscrewing the top, flattened portion of the
diamond and inserting the jack into the guts inside. Some people seemed to have
problems with managing to get the top off, but unless you have grip issues you
just grasp it with the flat of your palm more than your fingers and twist. Charging
takes about three hours and is indicated by a red LED, with an advertised one
hour of play time per charge.
The Twenty One only has one button, located on one of the
sides below the angled faceted area. It’s flat and also plastic, so takes a little
jiggling around to find, as well as enthusiasm with the pressing to turn it on
and change modes. If you have long nails or weak hands you might struggle with this, but I
just use a firm press with the flat of a thumb. The vibe only has three steady
modes, followed by seven (!) vibration patterns – which seemed excessive to me
at first, but more on that later. You cycle through all the modes by pressing
the single button, and turn it off by holding it down. As for how it feels?
Well, the vibrations are definitely rumbly and the hard plastic is an excellent
medium for transmitting them, but all the sensation is concentrated in the
pointed tip of the diamond due to the location of the motor. I had been kind of
keen to use the flat side because I’m down for broader stimulation, but this is
disappointingly weak. In fact, the first time I tried the Twenty One out, I
wasn’t too impressed. I had been spoilt by the We-Vibe Tango, and the
Twenty One did nothing for me in comparison. And only three modes? What gives?
Why did they choose to include seven
vibration patterns instead of focusing on raw, unadulterated power??
Then, one glorious day, I figured it out.
Bijoux Indiscrets isn’t focused on making a powerhouse. The
whole company ethos is focused on taking time for exploration. Luxuriating in
sensory delights. The buildup. The inherent pleasure of the little things.
So to keep that in mind, I did a lot of warming up over
a long period of time before the Twenty One even made an appearance. I tried
using the angled edge, the long side with the tip pointing up or down, the flat
top against my palm with the point between my thighs while I lay on my stomach,
and yes, the vibration patterns. It was actually amazing to experience the
different pulses and waves when you’re already edging; I found myself needing
to stop for a few moments between each mode and recover slightly before
continuing. It was, in a word, great. That seems anti-climactic but in reality,
it was anything but.
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