Round-Up: Best and Worst of 2018

It's been a great year for this little blog! We're still not heavy hitters in the blogging world, but in 2018 we diversified our reviews, added to our personal content, and joined a few affiliate partners for the very first time.

Therefore, it finally feels appropriate to do a round-up of what we've tried and loved in 2018, along with some stuff that just didn't work out. Let's lead with the good, shall we?

Stunners

Fun Factory Amor

Other than the Tango, this toy is my most-used of this year. I was initially a bit taken aback by its unexpected girth, but given some warm-up and a better choice of lubricant, this little insertable really grew on me. On my body, it provides very gentle G-spot stimulation but (surprisingly) is also wonderful for the A-spot as well. How? I have no idea! A-spotting toys need to be pretty lengthy, and this lil dil is not. But somehow it really works for me. The silicone is squishy and gentle on the body -- it's exactly the variety you need after owning a few more rigid insertables. A total fave.

MEO Ball Gag Berlin

This was one of the first items I tried from MEO, and it really lived up to expectations. It was everything I wanted in a gag -- solid silicone, sturdy construction, and a fancy all-black aesthetic. It also comes in different sizes! The medium is perfect for me as it allows for some good biting action without stretching my jaws uncomfortably wide. The silicone also provides a tiny bit of give so that I know my teeth won't be damaged (and yes, after spending a whole highschool career in braces, tooth safety is a big deal for me), and it just looks amazing when worn.

MEO Berlin Lockable Wrist Restraints

No bondage-babe's arsenal is complete without a set of restraints, and this glorious set of cuffs was just what I needed. These beauties are a wonderful investment piece -- padded enough for beginners just trying it out without wanting to compromise on comfort, with locking potential for seasoned kinksters looking for something a little more advanced. I love the multiple attachment points, the sturdy construction, and the sleek design. The only mild downside is that people with slim wrists may find it tricky to fasten them tightly enough, but srsly just oil them up and leave them on the tightest notch for a few days and it's fine.

Yoni Eggs Curved Obsidian Yoni Wand

This toy is beautiful! Even that alone is enough to make me sing its praises. However, it's also made out of volcanic rock that's meant to take bad vibes away, so it also makes me feel like a badass witch. Win-win! It features one bulbous end but either side could be used for extra variety, and offers excellent for G- and A-spot stimulation due to the rigidity of the material. I love its gentle curve and pretty velvet storage bag, and the fact that it comes from a wonderful Knysna-based retailer just makes me feel great about supporting local businesses. It looks like a work of art and I'm so happy to have it.

Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit

This was Minerva's stand out, number one toy of the year. She loves the variety it provides, combining internal and external rabbit-style stimulation with suction and vibration -- amaze! It's quiet, has 11 intensities for a nice gradual ramp-up in playtime, and the controls are dead simple to navigate. The construction is also vastly improved on previous models due to the redesign of the nozzle, which used to accidentally pop off and getting lost, and basically it was just a winner. Minerva's anatomy works with rabbits in general and this provided a great addition to her collection.


Unfortunately, with the highs come lows. However, there aren't many outright terrible products we've reviewed this year so the list is pretty short.

Bummers

System Jo Strawberry Oral Delight Arousal Gel

The only way I can possibly sum up this review is to hiss, Gollum-style, and scream IT BURNSSSS US! Seriously, Minerva hated the way this flavoured "arousal gel" napalmed her genitals, and I found evidence of other users experiencing the same thing. Don't get it! It's nasty and just not worth the risk.

Rocks-Off Love In Chains Kegel Balls

I started my review year off with this edgy-looking pelvic floor trainer, and it really made a bad impression. While I was a fan of the aesthetics, it just didn't translate very well in use. The silicone chin-links were pinchy and uncomfortable, the removal tag way too large, and it was impossible to properly clean. Not my vibe.

Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration

I really debated adding this final item to the list, as it isn't necessarily a bad product -- it just didn't work for my body. Although we have another similar addition on the "Best" list, this particular line of Satisfyer toys was actually too overwhelming to work as intended for me. Combining the classic suction with generic vibration seems like a great idea, but it ended up just numbing me out in practise. I also found it super loud, which sort of put me off using it -- I have housemates and I don't really want them to be too intimately aware of my more personal routines.


And that's a wrap! What products from the list have you tried? Do you agree with our almighty judgement?