Review: Tyes by Tara Kinkette Niplace

 

This week's review is a little different. I was contacted by a company specialising in adorable feminine accessories that accentuate the softer, more delicate features of the body and was super excited to try their handmade creations. Disclaimer: I severely overuse the descriptor "femme" because this particular post requires it. You've been warned.

Tyes by Tara began with the founder wearing a lace costume necktie to a Halloween party. There was something interesting about the subversion undergone by a symbol of corporate power merely by changing the fabric composition. With a simple aesthetic shift, the tie went from masc to hyperfemme, becoming the inspiration of Tara's brand. Her tyes range from cute little finger-rings to anklets and are meant to beautify the body by literally adorning it with bows. As someone who added giant bows to femme up a pair of Doc Martins, I'm here for that.

Let's get real -- the brand name takes a moment to get used to. A word like "niptye" doesn't quite roll off the tongue, and it doesn't stop there. The brand includes "eartyes" and "tyeras" as well, which really lean into those fabricated portmanteaus. Anyway! Branding choices happen for a reason, and this definitely helps unify the product line. Once you know what a tye is, you can extrapolate the data to get a pretty good picture of what a beltye may look like. I mean, it's still a weird arrangement of letters but we're going with it. Just don't apply this logic to the artyes.

I chose the Kinkette Niplace because of its hyper-femme aesthetic and touch of sparkle in the fabric of the choker. The combination of bows and delicate chain is quite striking -- cute, but with the slightest edge. It's just a very good combination, especially because this is done so subtly. It's even reflected in the product presentation, which is that starlet-esque black-and-white/pink combo. Basically, the presentation is absolutely stellar and highlights excellent attention to detail with a sweet handwritten note! This stuff is my jam. It really gives the product an upmarket glamour -- femme, fancy, and classic. Even the clasp is accentuated with a little clear disc laser-cut with the company's branding. It's pretty and functional and just looks great.

The niptyes are marketed as "non piercing," which seems self-explanatory if you're thinking of the tyes as nipple clamps. However, they do look like those circular barbells often used in body modification rather than traditional tweezer or crocodile-style clamps, so it makes sense to specify. Unlike the piercing jewellery, these are made out of a flexible plastic that widens with a gentle pull and then closes when released. The grip is fairly firm, but not painful. They feel like what they are -- cute, pretty body adornments rather than a BDSM tool.

This product itself is made of a glittery velvet ribbon choker that's been embellished with a bow and four elegantly-dangling lead-free chains that split delicately across the chest, emphasising the décolletage and breasts. In my picture here I divided the chains a bit more than they naturally hang for better product display, just because this is a SFW sex blog (in terms of images, anyway) and only the chosen ones are permitted to witness my true glory.

Subtlety remains key and the overall look isn't overtly "raunchy" (whatever that means). Rather, the idea is to accentuate and accessorise, and the Kinkette does just that. Basically, it just looks really, really good and is certain to make you feel cute as all heck. It's like lingerie without all the extra steps.

In use, the little plastic rings are flexible and easy to wear. They're quite comfy but results may vary depending on your anatomy. I found one clip was consistently more likely to pop off just based on my body shape on that side, but again -- this isn't a tool meant for functional use. Think of it more like pasties, but prettier. The choker is adjustable and feels pretty sturdy -- no cheap fashion-style junk jewellery here. The ribbon feels nice and thick and has a little stretch to it, which is great because it allows you to freely move your head and neck without feeling like you're being garrotted. This makes a difference because I once had a fast-fashion choker that kept breaking at the clasp due to a lack of give in the fabric, so this observation comes from experience. Only downside? Plus-size people with larger necks may struggle to fit this line, but in that case you could probably extend the chain yourself as well; it's not an absolute disaster.

As for the aesthetic, it's fabulous. The Kinkette looks very slinky and alluring and makes me feel like The Fanciest Bitch. It's more aesthetic than functional in that it can stand up to some gentle tugging without disengaging from the body but should be treated respectfully, like nice lingerie.

Overall, I really like this product. It's pretty and delicate and emphasises a universally excellent part of the body -- the collarbone/sternum/décolletage area. Who's going to be mad about that? Nobody! It's just such a good feature to draw attention to, and the Kinkette Niplace does just that.

Want to check out the other adornments in the Tyes by Tara collection? Find the range at the links below!

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Review: The Butters Original Lube

We all know my love affair with oil-based lube, and The Butters is [fairly] new on the intimate product scene. The company is black-owned, queer, and makes everything by hand. They create purely vegan, ethical oil-based lubricants with all natural ingredients (full list here). When their products hit the sex-blogging sphere they made quite an impression, so I was very excited to give it a try! Their lubricants have a few variants, but I managed to get my hangnailed little claws on the Original version. Lucky me, as The Butters isn’t available in SA yet (boo!). I was only fortunate enough to try it due to winning a gift voucher from Vibrant, which I calibrated carefully to include shipping. Exotic things, huzzah! I’m genuinely hoping that this product finds its way over at some point, however, as it really is great for those that already enjoy using coconut oil.

First impressions? The packaging is quite similar to what you see at Lush – minimal black tubs with a lot of emphasis on the company’s cruelty-free/ethical values. I like simple packaging and a clean, pared-down aesthetic, so this was great for me. The tub was shipped all packaged-up in tissue paper and had a protective plastic outer seal to prevent leakage, but it was still a little oily on the outside anyway. Something to keep in mind when opening in case of unexpected transfer. This is a potential risk due to the alchemical blend of oils combining to prevent the product from solidifying into an impenetrable chunk at room temperature. It also means that the lube comes out the tub easily, like moisturiser would, so it’s very easy to spread without having to warm it in your hands first.

Of course, because of the lack of solidity, you won’t need to use all that much to make a difference. The first few times I tried this lube, it took three or four sessions just to use up what had transferred onto the lid during travel. So economical! The texture of this neutral-smelling, butter-coloured lube is viscous but thin, allowing it to warm quickly and spread even more just in the brief transfer period from hand to toy. It provides the same cushioned, protected sensation that I enjoy in coconut oil lubricants in a format that’s easier to apply. Win! This means it’s great for longer-lasting play or anything involving more sensitive areas. Nevertheless, the main caveat is that oil will degrade latex, so please don’t use this with regular condoms as it could lead to STI exposure or a potential pregnancy.

The only other potential downside is the oily residue it leaves after use, which might not be your jam if you prefer water-based lubricants. Of course, you could just treat it the same way as you might body lotion, because it does leave you feeling very soft; but those who don’t want to risk transfer onto clothing or sheets may wish to keep a pack of wet-wipes nearby for convenience. I love the soft, moisturised feeling provided by oil-based lubricants afterwards -- like a face-mask for your vulva, as one reviewer is quoted on the website.

I’m really happy with this product and was so glad to have the chance to give it a try! As it’s not available in SA I can’t really recommend it, but think it’s a good one to keep on your radar. Coconut-based lube really works for my body and I would love for more accessible options to hit the market. The magical not-solid-at-room-temperature properties of this product is definitely something I’d like to see more of on local shelves.

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Review: Vibease

This post is something a bit different, and I guess you'll see why. We had the chance to review the eponymous flagship model sent in exchange for an honest review from Vibease. Their self-titled and adorable app-controlled clitoral/panty vibe is meant to be a fun little device that couples can use together, out in public, or even long distance. The big selling point, however, is that the Vibease pairs with downloadable erotic fiction to create an immersive story-led fantasy in which the vibrations correspond to the plot. I mean, that's the ideal ... right?

To be honest, I was most excited about the long-distance potential -- I thought it would be a cool gimmick for my LDR partner and I to play around with. You can connect securely to another partner and give over your control of the vibe to them, and even chat in-app to really set the scene. It sounds like a great idea, but alas, it was not to be. In fact, I'm disappointed that nothing seemed to work out as I'd hoped because the Vibease team was wonderful. But hey -- it's the first product they've produced, and it really was trying to do the most. At the end of the day, all I wanted was the simplicity of some good old-fashioned button controls because I am apparently satisfied with the least fancy technology -- as long as it works.

So. Let's get into it. This is the first app-controlled vibrator I've used, and I must admit that the concept was a bit mystifying. I guess fewer buttons means a sleeker design and more intuitive partner interaction, but having it be entirely commanded by a second device? Right from the start it felt like that extra step would only be extra hassle. This vibrator paired super easily with my phone -- the app sets you up really well for that, and they have a bunch of supportive documentation so that even the most technologically inept humans could figure it out. However, the connection is finicky to the point of dysfunction, flicking capriciously between connected and useless. Full disclosure: I had this toy for weeks but only tested it a handful of times before writing this review because I had such terrible experiences.

The reason for the extreme delay in reviews is that the connection problems make the device absolutely unusable. Initially, I thought it was just my phone, but that couldn't be the case as my basic-bitch Samsung works fine with pretty much any other Bluetooth device. It really just feels like issues with the Vibease itself. My new cordless headphones work perfectly, I can pair with the sound system in the gym -- even a speaker I got in like, 2012 presents no problems. So what's the problem here?

Some constructive googling showed that Bluetooth is pretty much backward compatible with anything and has worked the same since forever. Consequently, you should have no difficulty pairing with a device from 2002 in 2019, so like ... it's not that my phone can't handle it. I'm pretty sure it's just the toy. Restarting both devices helped briefly, but when I say "briefly" I mean "for literal seconds." The Vibease claims to work up to a distance of five feet and at no point was my phone more than 60cm away from the toy, so I can't imagine what the problem was.

Essentially, the connection couldn't make it through a three-minute audio clip, meaning that the entire purpose of the toy -- ie, feeling pleasurably immersed in the narrative -- is subverted. You also lose all control of the vibe because it is, of course, entirely app-controlled. After many stops and device restarts I managed to have what was possible the most unsatisfying orgasm of my life, because the vibrations die when the device loses connection. Like, cease entirely. Which means that everything feels great until it stops. On top of the frustration of losing control over the toy and having the audio progress without you, you're also just bereft of stimulation. BEREFT. It's awful and irritating and suboptimal in every way.

Almost ironically, the actual vibrations (when they happen) are good! Nice, decent, rumbly sensations emanating from a decent tapered shape that combines broader stimulation with more pinpoint potential; it all could have worked out so well. Even the app is visually appealing and easy to use. You just download your stories, hit play, and increase speed/intensity of vibration by tapping closer to the top right of the screen. The intensity is indicated by a swirl of bubbles, which animate prettily and are aesthetically satisfying to watch swirling around. I just wish I had a chance to actually enjoy the toy as it was meant to be used.

On the left is a (rare!) screenshot from the app when I actually managed to connect, and on the right is the audio erotica I never managed to fully listen to. Don't judge me for my erotica choices okay -- I never got to figure out whether it was bad or not. Anyway. See the little bubbles that indicate intensity, and how purposeless and spread out they look? More importantly, see how the Vibease-shaped icon has an ellipsis beside it? That's because this screengrab depicts a moment in which I was jabbing at my screen, frustrated at the sudden cessation of stimulation and being powerless to do anything about it. I'm not certain how one would amend the connection errors, but the problem could have been partially circumvented by just including intensity control buttons into the interface. There are already two buttons present -- an on/vibrations up button and a vibrations down button would have made the experience far less frustrating. Even if there had been connection difficulties, you'd still have a functional vibrator that you could continue to get off with "manually" as the story plays. I mean, it sort of defeats the point but would have been better than how it actually turned out. Which was -- and I cannot stress this enough -- monumentally unsatisfying.

In short, the experience was interesting in that I did get to experience a more high-tech, innovative aspect of the sex toy world that I haven't before. Nevertheless, what essentially amounted to minor technical difficulties ended up entirely undermining the purpose of this vibrator. I'm still keen to see where the company goes and what they come up with in future.

Keep in touch with Vibease at the links below!

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Review: Rocks-Off Zeppelina

We've tried a couple of fun Rocks-Off products in the past, with good reason. The company is a design powerhouse. Want a vibrator to match your aesthetic (whatever it may be)? This company definitely has a lot to offer. Known for their variety in the style and finish of their products, Rocks-Off pushed themselves even further with their steampunk-themed line of sex toys whimsically entitled "Dr Rocco's Pleasure Emporium of Vibromatic Delights."

How GLORIOUS is that? The name itself fills me with a winsome glee only exacerbated by the company's admirable commitment to the theme. We were lucky enough to receive the Zeppelina vibe from them in exchange for an honest review, and the marketing material is just as delightful as you'd imagine. Like that one weird mediaeval fayre attendee who refuses to speak out of character, Rocks-Off goes all in. I mean, just look at this copy:

Dr Rocco's Pleasure Emporium presents

Zeppelina

Dr Rocco will take you on an adventure deep into your imagination. Feast your eyes on gadgets and remarkable devices that will excite, titillate and satisfy the most adventurous sexual appetites.

Uniquely crafted to time-span the ages for a truly orgasmic fantasy romp! Time to lace up your corsets, hang on to your boot straps and enjoy the ride.

The lady wants, so the lady must have!!

It's playful and perfectly fits the 18th Century Victoriana aesthetic of this sepia-toned toy. The marketing for this line was over the top in the best way.

Unboxing this guy was mildly underwhelming. An interesting outer package with some basic plastic packing inside. I suppose that’s enough for a decently priced toy. Let’s face it, we don’t judge toys for their covers. Equal opportunity. It’s a very pretty product, with an interesting old metallic-bronze finish. It also has these very attractive steampunky patterns all over it, which can be used as textured stimulation if you’re into that. Sort of like a really soft studded condom, but like, with gears and shit.

First impressions? Well, the best way to describe this toy is to say he a thicc boi. It was intimidating when I first saw it because I’m not a big size queen. I eventually got up the courage to try it out alone. It was quite uncomfortable for me, but again I’m not a size fan. It’s built for girth.

However! The first time I used it with my partner, it did not disappoint! When combined with general sexual doubles play, it was such a great addition. It has an extremely powerful motor (aptly described as "petticoat-fluttering"), and that’s more my alley! The shape is really nice as well, because the tapered point makes it very easy to specifically target wherever you like best. The firmness also makes it very satisfying to use! It’s perfect for those of you who like some power and a bit of rough play.

The controls were a bit difficult to operate. They’re on the side, which is odd. And also they are camouflaged, which is even more odd. But they don’t light up blindingly if you’re in the dark, so point to them. Although .. this does take me back to the hunt for the controls. Eventually, if you look closely, you’ll find a tiny Rocks-Off logo. That’s the button. Once that's been accomplished, you’ll notice that it does feel very different to the rest of the toy, which is very firm with no give. This will make it easier to find later and especially during use.

I’m sure it would be great for the size queens among you, and we’d love to hear your take on it, if you’ve had the chance to use it! Until then, check out our other Rocks-Off reviews or say hi to them at the links below.

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Review: CalExotics Nipple Clamps with Chain

I recently won a gift voucher that allowed me to try out some new products; one of which being this cute little set of nipple clamps from CalExotics. These are my first set of clamps and I wasn't quite sure of what to expect, but the experience was pretty positive!

The packaging is nothing unusual -- just a little moulded plastic sachet that allows you to see the contents and get a good idea of the weight of the chain. To be honest, anything fancier would just be a waste and drive up the price of what is really quite an affordable bondage accessory. Nobody wants that! The clamps are good quality, nickel-free, and tipped with little phthalate-free plastic stoppers for some extra comfort. They're totally worth the retail price. Any unnecessary frilliness would just be excessive, I feel.

In any case, I'm a basic bitch that likes basic gear, so I really enjoy the simplicity of them. Just plain silver with black accents on the crocodile-style clip, an aesthetic I find way more appealing than the tweezer or classic clover styles. Each stainless-steel clamp has a little wheel that allows you to set how far open they remain for a looser or tighter fit, and once you find a set-point that works for you they don't easily shift, which is pretty handy. Word to the wise: try to store these in a safe place, as the little rubberised tips can wiggle off and would be easily lost, leaving you with uncomfortably extreme metal clips. Yikes. To prevent this, a tiny drop of superglue on the inside of the rubbery tip would probably help, although I haven’t actually tried this myself and am operating on theory.

You could also disconnect the chain and just use the clamps by themselves, or even attach different charms/weights to them if you’re feeling fancy. There’s a fair amount of versatility in these little beasts.

In use, the clamps function perfectly, although beginners may wish to start with a very mild pressure and build from there. It took me a little while to set the wheel to a point where the bite was solid but not painful, and it takes a moment to find comfortable (?) placement on the body. The sensation is intense but you kind of lose the high notes of feeling pretty quickly, which makes sense because of the restricted bloodflow. This means that you can play around with the chain with a surprising lack of pain, which is kind of cool. Nevertheless, direct disruption of the clamps themselves (whether accidentally brushing them, rolling over onto them, or intentional contact) can bring that to the front of your mind immediately.

I was pretty surprised by the deadened sensation – maybe I'm just not using them tightly enough? Being too cautious? In any case, it might be easy to forget them on for too long, which would be bad. Reduced bloodflow to sensitive parts of the body is always bad. Remember to take breaks every fifteen minutes or so! Look after yourself.

On that note, the rush of blood upon release can be quite painful, so be prepared! I’ve been gingerly releasing them little by little so that it’s not a huge rush all at once and that seems to help. You’ll also probably find that you’re very sensitive afterwards so continued play might need to wait (or not?) while you recover a bit. If there's any tenderness afterwards, I often put on a comfy softcup bra just to hold everything comfortably and have a bit of a protective layer until my sensitivity normalises again.

Overall, I have zero regrets with these clamps. They’re simple to operate, look great, and weren’t particularly expensive either. I like the crocodile-style both practically and aesthetically, and they’re one of the only pieces of kink/BDSM gear that is so tiny it could fit in a shirt pocket.

Review: Tantus Pelt

 

We’ve reviewed a few Tantus products before, but this is a bit of a special case. The Pelt was my dream paddle long before I started exploring impact play because it just looks so dang good. I was so happy to receive it from the company in exchange for an honest, unbiased review and let’s just say it didn’t disappoint.

The Pelt is a solid silicone paddle much in the style of the Dragon Tail, but much kinder due to its broad, rounded shape. Personally, I love the functional x minimalist aesthetic because I’m just that unfancy, and the lack of packaging also great. Less elaborate packaging means more cost effective (and kinder to environment too, amirite). The Pelt came inside a plastic sleeve with an informative product tag looped through the handle, and that was pretty much it. Similarly, it’s a classy-looking chunk of matte black silicone, which makes it body-safe and super easy to clean and sterilise. Unlike “traditional” kink materials like leather, which are porous and therefore impossible to entirely rid of bacteria and similar nasties, this baby is impervious to a solid scrubbing and would be rendered pathogen-free by a nice 10% bleach-bath. Handy! 

So, why would this be useful? You're only using a paddle on the surface of the skin, right? Surely there’s no need to be worried about that level of cleanliness unless it’s used near a mucous membrane?

Certain skin conditions such as ringworm, athlete’s foot, or even herpes can be transmitted via skin transferal. If you attend play parties, share equipment, or otherwise engage in regular impact play with different people, it may be a good idea to invest in gear which is able to be properly cleaned between uses. Of course, you can just ensure that you don’t share impact tools meant to be used on you/your partner with anybody else, but that just isn’t practical for some people. Products like these offer a really wonderful solution to a lifestyle problem and make it look great too.

The paddle feels really good in the palm because the nice, thick handle provides a solid base to act as leverage for thwacking. It does have more flexibility than rigid materials would offer, but you can still put a lot of force into there if you want to. In terms of sensation provided, I really enjoyed using this paddle. I love the way that the sting spreads from the impact surface and the wraparound effect it achieves (which is slightly less dramatic than the rubber strap due to the difference in length and flexibility). I normally go pretty easy on myself when testing because I am an infant when it comes to pain, but this paddle can pack a good hit. Yikes! It is super stingy due to the flexy nature of the silicone, so be prepared for a pronounced warming burn that spreads really well. I am a fan.

I also really like the shape of the paddle. Tantus has a few in the series, but something about the friendly, elegantly tapered aesthetic of the oval impact surface really works for me aesthetically. The size is perfect for my skinny shanks (sadly, I was not blessed with a generous butt) and it just feels so happy in the hand.

 My expectations were joyfully met by this product and I would definitely recommend it to anyone in the scene, especially if you really enjoy engaging in impact play with multiple partners. It’s classy, it does the job, and it’s safe – what more is there?

Like what you see? Check out our other Tantus reviews and say what’s up to them on social media. They’re super fun and really nice to chat to.

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Review: Satisfyer Multifun 1

We've already taken a look at the Satisfyer Multifun 2 and now it's time for its counterpart, the same-same-but-different periwinkle blue Multifun 1. Both were generously provided by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Minerva's post is a little different because it focuses on the intended couple-centric aspect of the toy, whereas mine focused on the solo/DIY side of things. Enjoy!

Alright, so first of all you should know that my partner and I are both cis female -- not the exact couples configuration pictures in Satisfyer's marketing copy for this toy. That being said, the Multifun 1 from Satisfyer is one of our absolute favourite toys.

There are so many ways you can use it -- "more than 14," as the marketing copy says. The fins are positioned really nicely for a stroking effect on the vulva. Women with larger labia can often be more sensitive there, so this is especially enjoyable. The shape of this toy really allows for it to nestle against the clit, which is great. It also allows you to move it around for different sensations, and the silicone is super soft and perfect for getting slippery with lube. It’s also nice and quiet, which is great for the shy ones amongst us.

Satisfyer claims you can use the fins for penetration, which was alright but definitely not the best part about this toy. Satisfyer says it's good for G-spot stimulation, which is a bit laughable really. It's okay but the non-traditional shape doesn't really lend itself to a, um, satisfying experience when inserted. It's cool for variety but the Multifun 1 is best used externally.

That being said, I could do away with the central motor in the base of it entirely. It has yet to make any sort of impact, and, compared to the fin motor, is actually very weak. In our Multifun 2 review, K described how the central motor made her hands numb because there's nowhere else to conveniently hold the toy. It really would be best to exclude that third motor and focus on the ones in the tips.  

We also tried it with a strap-on, as its primary intention was to be used for hetero sex. It’s okay, but feels a bit loose and difficult to keep in position properly. With the strap-on it started rotating awkwardly and never quite had the push I wanted, so those who enjoy firmer clitoral contact may want to hold it in place. And in that case, what's the point, really? It's far more fun being used with hands.

However, all of that can be forgiven for its unique shape and stroking abilities. It is so easy to use for -- ahem -- “hands on” sex. And the manoeuvrability is really fantastic. I felt like the motor is effective, and strong. The vibrations can be very specifically targeted which is super handy, no matter what you’re in the mood for. It can do things literally no other toy in my collection can do. It’s a really great addition to anyone’s toy collection, hetero or otherwise.

I’d definitely recommend it to a friend.

Want to learn more? Check out our other Satisfyer reviews or say hello to the team.

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Review: Laid D1 silicone

 

Giveaways are a big part of the blogging community. Recently, I was lucky enough to win a Vibrant gift voucher in Little Switch Bitch's competition (yay!) and managed to score some really lovely things which will be trickling through in reviews as I get to them. I had a great experience with ordering from Vibrant, although it seems like the company is now unfortunately defunct (?). Nevertheless, big thanks go to Little Switch Bitch for hosting a rad giveaway.

First up is a delightfully weird dildo by Laid, a female-owned Norwegian company that specialises in elegant, artsy insertables handcrafted from local stone. They also do a silicone version of their iconic D1, an unusual, asymmetric toy that is meant to be rotated in use, not thrust like a regular dildo. I've been curious about Laid since I discovered them and was really intrigued by the different nature of the D1. Each side has a different angle and edge to it, which means that the toy will feel entirely new when turned and twisted in the body. It's tricky to capture in photos, but the toy is shaped kind of like a ... twisted Toblerone? But also not at all because it sort of has three sides but then also doesn't. Look, I don't make the rules okay.

The variety doesn't end with insertion. There is a larger, oblong, almost club-shaped end and a slimmer, more pointed side, which provides even more nuances to the stimulation you can receive from this toy. The pointier side has the subtle L-shaped insignia of the Laid logo, and the toy is otherwise smooth, featureless, and elegant. I would have loved to try the stone version as well (I mean look at this glory -- ugh it should be illegal to look so good), but this deep black silicone is so attractive I ain't even mad. Is black not your thing? Want something a little funkier? They also have a cheery robin's egg blue and hot pink, and I applaud this diversity but black is just my colour. What can I say. When I lifted it from the classy, understated, sturdy cardboard packaging to reveal this magnificent chunk of silicone resting on its foam insert, I almost swooned. THE DESIGN IS JUST SO GOOD, GUYS.

It's also firm. Like, really firm. The silicone does allow for some flexion but it's mostly just a rigid hunk that doesn't allow much give when manipulated. This is sort of my jam, as I've discovered, but I was vaguely concerned about how the oddly-shaped end would feel during insertion, because there really isn't much of a taper involved and I am a nervous about large penetration.

It definitely feels odd inserting such a blunt object, but you can play with the angling a bit to see what feels best. Of course, you should never skimp out on lube -- especially as this one is a bit odd. As expected, it is sort of weird-feeling -- definitely unlike any of my other internal toys. The clublike side tapers to a reassuring slimness around midway down the shaft which aids with comfort and also conforms nicely to the shape of the vagina (asymmetry and all). Thrusting it out of habit isn't bad and isn't quite the cervix-bruising event I thought it would be and actually feels pretty nice when targeted at the G-spot, but when I switched to rotation that's where the magic happened.

The side-to-side motions created by twisting felt pretty great near the vaginal entrance due to the semi-triangular shape of the toy, and the understated L insignia still manages to help with orienting the toy so that you kind of know which way the curve flows for removal purposes. For me, however, the joy lay in the interesting A-spot stimulation that this toy can provide.

Inserting it really deeply and twisting the D1 leads to a full circumnavigation of the cervix without painful contact. This cool rotating effect attends to the entire anterior fornix in a most unusual way, and the effect is pretty wonderful. The slim, tapered side, on the other hand, seems better suited to the posterior fornix but is still pretty good. I don't enjoy PF stimulation quite as much but it's still pretty satisfying.

My single qualm about this toy is just the sheer effort required to use it as intended. Seriously, with so much rotation I couldn't recommend this to anyone with grip problems/RSI as the D1 would definitely exacerbate it. This toy is hard on the wrists from a DIY perspective -- the angles are all weird and you either need to curl your hand into a little claw and struggle to rotate using your fingers, or try grip the whole thing in your fist and stretch your arm to the maximum point. This means that it probably won't be easy to use for people with larger bodies either -- the reach is pretty important with this one. Of course, an easy workaround would be to get a partner with sturdy joints to use it on you. This way everyone wins!

After this experience I'm definitely keen to try out more Laid products, including the very G-spotty-looking D2. One day.

Review: Rocks-Off Chaiamo

We all know that retrieving parcels from customs is a pain. It takes a lot of time, numerous interactions with postal humans, and the relinquishing of a fair amount of money just to have the privilege to collect something as innocuous as a pair of jeans you had the gall to order from some online store. So imagine that but with sex toys, and you have no proof of payment because they're free samples provided for review purposes.

Yeah. Fun.

Luckily I was dealing with some absolutely glorious reps from Rocks-Off who put a great deal of time into ensuring I got my parcel safe and sound. Shout out to Emma and Nikkita for sending the Rocks-Off Chaiamo in exchange for an honest and unbiased review, because this toy is boss. I can't imagine missing out on it due to the capricious whims of the post office overlords.

Let's start with the obvious: this vibe is classier than me and I am into it. It’s made from matte silicone which comes in three colours (teal, black, and the hot pink pictured), accented with metallic gold ABS plastic. Each end tapers to a nice diagonal point, as if a slice was cut off, with the plastic handle incorporating the singular button embellished with the Rocks-Off logo. The effect is elegant and simple and super luxe. It is, to be put it simply, a very pretty toy. This is reflected in the attention to detail in the packaging – Rocks-Off really went all out in constructing the allure of this particular range. It’s gorgeous.

Consequently, my first impressions were excellent, although the featureless nature of the vibe made me wonder what it would be like during internal use. Externally, though, I wasn’t worried. The vibrator is waterproof and USB rechargeable via a magnetic clip, and once I fired it up I immediately knew it would be excellent. The vibrations are so rumbly and powerful they outstrip my beloved Tango – which isn’t too surprising considering the size difference, but it’s my first non-wand vibrator to deliver such deep rumbly sensations. You turn it on and off by holding the single button, which can be pressed to cycle through the settings. The button has a bright red LED to indicate when it’s on (although this is a bit spurious due to the powerful nature of the toy). The vibe has three steady settings and seven patterns, so there’s a lot to play around with. 

As predicted, this toy is A+ when used clitorally. I usually use bullet-style vibes, which are obviously smaller and slimmer than this toy, so the change of surface area provided some variety and a good shift of sensation. The vibe really is an excellent dimension for stimulation -- slim enough to feel targeted, but broad enough to allow for some decent spread across erogenous areas. You can also use the tapered point for those that prefer a more focused, pinpoint feel. The silicone cushions the powerful vibrations which may have otherwise been too overwhelming without losing any of that all-important deep rumble and the controls are super easy to use. 

Used externally, this toy is glorious. Internally, however, I didn’t really enjoy it at all. The straight up and down design doesn’t work out too well for my body; it feels uncomfortable and a little painful even. It’s a shame because the dimensions seem so perfectly suited to vaginal use; it's just not shaped ergonomically enough for me to feel comfortable. A pity, but like ... can you even be mad when the clitoral use is just so faultless? I sure don't.

The only other critique I can think of regarding the construction of the toy is that I wish there was a bit more nuance in the settings of the vibe, say, forgo a few pattern modes and include four steady  intensities instead of three. I do feel like the lowest setting is pretty hectic, and that’s not exactly a bad thing (especially for power royalty), but it may have made the vibrator more accessible to a broader range of users.

Overall, I loved using this toy and it has definitely made itself a fixture in my general use pile. It's beautiful, comes in some really rad colour options (I wish I'd been brave enough to request the black colourway -- so classy), and provides a powerfully intense experience that I would highly recommend.

Interested? Check out our other Rocks-Off reviews or say hi to them at the links below!

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Review: Tantus Sport Medium

We recently received a box of fun from Tantus and next on the list is the Sport, a cute little non-representational dildo with a teardrop-shaped base and a bulbous head intended for G–spotting. This was provided to us in exchange for a candid and unbiased review, as always. Thanks, Tantus!

First impressions of this toy were pretty positive. The packaging is colourful and simple – kind of a no-frills fun aesthetic. I liked the look of the toy and thought the hooked G-spotting curve would feel amazing. At an insertable length of 14cms it’s a decent size for a beginner (ie, will not stab you viciously in the cervix) and is made out of flexible silicone that plays best with water- or oil-based lubricants.

The silicone itself is very smooth and shiny, with a tactile texture that unfortunately can’t help but attract cat-hair like the plague due to the glossy finish. It’s really soft and squishy in density so you can easily bend and manipulate it around; a feature which may make beginners feel more comfortable regardless of the larger and more bulbous head. The flared base also means that it would be compatible with anal play, but I can’t really speculate as to how the teardrop-shape would affect strap-on use. Would it be more comfortable? Less secure? Food for thought! I did quite enjoy the fact that the tapered base allows the user to orient the toy inside themselves more easily than a featureless round one does. However, due to the shorter length of the toy compounded with the dainty and elegant base, users with grip-related issues might find it difficult to find an appropriate purchase during play. 

Regrettably, I didn’t find this toy a good fit for my body’s needs. Taking my existing experience with silicone dildos into account, I’m coming to realise that firmer is better, although a touch of squish can be quite nice. Unfortunately, the super-soft density didn’t quite work for me. Despite the Silk being more featureless than the Sport, it is a little more rigid and seemed to work better for my preferences. I feel that if you’re a person that enjoys thrusting their toys, you may want to select a different option to the Sport as it's just too flexible to really provide targeted stimulation. I didn’t even really find it that effective for G-spot stim due to its inability to provide focused pressure on the necessary areas. Nevertheless, if you’re more of a fan of clenching when you use your insertables, this may still be nice for you due to the feedback provided by the squishy substrate, so that was pretty much how I used it. It’s nice, but not my usual style.

After using the toy a few times, I had to accept that my personal preferences are a touch mismatched to the capabilities of this toy. Nevertheless, I’d still suggest it to a person who knows that they like a softer silicone, or perhaps someone who is just starting out exploring penetrative stimulation and is concerned about how more rigid materials may feel (don’t be like me and get a steel toy as your first insertable). The flexibility and bendiness of the silicone almost made me wonder if it would work well as a pack-and-play strategy for gender-nonconforming people, but I don't really have the experience to test this theory.

Curious about this or other Tantus products? Check them out online! They’re friendly, fun, and have a butt-ton of varied products in their arsenal.

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Review: Satisfyer Multifun 2

We have a lovely relationship with the Satisfyer team and were lucky enough to receive the two new additions to their couples’ range of vibrators, the Multifun 1 and 2! This is our first time trying out any of the dedicated vibration-only toys in their collection, so we were pretty keen. Both toys were provided free of charge in exchange for honest and unbiased reviews. Let’s start with the basics.

Each toy is an unusual scooped horseshoe-shape made out of ABS plastic and soft silicone that picks up surprisingly little cat hair. The shape of the 2 differs slightly from the 1 in that there is a little spacing between the prongs of the 2, whereas the 1 has them actually touch together. There’s also a subtle variation in the shape of the tips – the 1 is sort of rounded and nubby, while the 2 has a more finlike, scooped shape. Other than that, they’re pretty identical. This review focuses on the Multifun 2 used in a solo setting.

The box is pretty standard stuff – pretty, with some little example graphics on how to use the Multifun toys on the side. It contains the toy, manual, and a USB charging cable that clips on magnetically. First impressions of the toy itself? To be honest, when I lifted it out that little plastic moulded tray, all I thought was: this is just so super weird. When adding this to my list of review items still pending, I just wrote down “weird couples thing??”, which pretty much sums up my initial feelings on the shape. It’s really unusual, but I was also kind of into it?

If you look at the shape of a clitoris, the forked design actually makes sense. Observe:


Source

Taking this into account, the slingshot-esque shape is quite intuitive. You could fit the central hub over the clitoral hood area while the prongs could stimulate the crura/bulbs for a more expansive experience. I actually started to look forward to testing out a shape that was so new and unlike anything I’d tried before.

This toy has three motors, one in each tip and one in the base. The vibration quality, I’m sorry to say, is very buzzy. This normally isn’t my vibe (heh) at all, especially as the base area seemed to have the weakest vibrations of all and that was the central bit I had imagined would work well over the hood area. The forked tips feel a bit more powerful (but still buzzy) and they all share the same three speeds and four vibration patterns. You can operate the tips and the base separately or together, which is cool because unless you enjoy having super numb hands there’s not much reason to use both at the same time. There’s no convenient way to use the toy’s full vibrational surface-area during solo play that doesn’t involve pressing it against the body, so it does get a bit much on the hands after a while. 

Nevertheless, I don’t really get a lot out of pressing the whole thing to my body. The shape doesn’t really fit comfortably against me despite what I initially thought, and the base doesn’t do much for me anyway so there’s not much appeal in using it vibrationally. The prongs, though. The prongs are where it’s at, which is why it’s good that you can opt-out of using the base vibrations. Holding this toy by the base and using the little arms on either side of the clitoris is where the party is. It’s unlike any of the external vibes in my current collection, and the sensation of the prongs encompassing either side of the clitoris is new and admittedly pretty rad. You also get some good sensation on the clitoral crura as well, which is also a bit of an unusual departure for me.

The cupping sensation provided by the horseshoe shape made me interested in what transgender people using this toy would think. Despite the limited pink/blue colour options, the aesthetics are quite gender-neutral -- the design is meant to be used with different genital shapes after all. Also, you can perform some convincing masculine-looking masturbatory hand motions when using it, which may be gender-affirming for transmasculine people. I’m a basic cishet myself but I’d really love to know how gender-nonconforming people find the experience. Send me links. Make me know things.

Basically, I really, really enjoyed the forked shape of this toy. Almost as soon as I started using it, I was sold. Just as quickly, however, this enthusiasm was tempered by the numbing vibrations emanating from the forked tips. It just felt like I needed more from the sensation – the buzzy vibrations are surface-level and feel good, but shallowly so. I found myself very conscious of the intensity settings (because if you try amp up the power more than three times you hit the patterns, and nobody wants that) and this dampened the enjoyment somewhat. Ultimately, I found the experiences with this toy quite frustrating – it was so good, kind of! I really liked using it – until I reached a plateau with the surface-level vibrations that just numbed me out.

Three motors are a lot in a palm-sized clitoral toy, even if they’re not particularly strong. I’d love to see a version of this design which maintains the horseshoe-shape but packs some actually rumbly motors in the tips for deeper and more notable stimulation. Nevertheless, I loved the opportunity to try out something completely new and definitely had a great time learning more about what works for me!

Want to learn more? Check out our other Satisfyer reviews, or say hi to their team on social media!

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Review: MEO French Leather Paddle

So, I love the German-based manufacturer MEO. They offer wonderful service and have an enormous variety of BDSM and kink-related gear available. Although their target market is the gay male market, they were kind enough to send me a giant box ‘o fun a while back in exchange for honest and unbiased review, yet somehow I neglected to review one of my most-used items -- the French Leather Paddle (NSFW link) from their HURTME range. Astonishing! Once I started flicking my way through our BDSM archives with increasing alarm, finding nothing, I had to rectify this immediately.

The paddle itself is very clean in appearance – no fanciness, no frills; just pure functionality. Straight to business. I really enjoy its simplicity because I'm a traditional gal when it comes to this sort of stuff. Many similarly-styled paddles have designs like hearts, text, or other fancy little cut-outs that may leave impressions in the skin – which can be fun to play with; don’t get me wrong, but it’s not quite my preference. Give me minimalism and clean lines, or give me death! Okay, maybe a little bit of glitter is acceptable too.

Other than the appearance, another pleasing pro is that it feels solid and sturdy in the palm without being too hefty. The edges are smooth and well-finished, with no nasty ragged bits or sharp areas that might break the skin (unintentionally, at least). This paddle has a pretty rigid core and is coated by a smooth, stiff black leather that gives it a very traditional BDSM appearance and provides a solid surface for spankings. Its surface area is nice and wide -- 36 x 6.5 cm, which spreads out the impact zone nicely. This means you can easy work larger areas like thighs or the butt without needing to cover them multiple times – efficient! The handle includes a little leather cord you could use for hanging storage, but is too short to be looped around the wrist for additional security/hands-free convenience between use. The stitching is really secure and well-finished; I really don’t think it will fray or unravel any time soon. MEO offers high-quality products and this is no exception -- a little bit of leather conditioner will go a long way in preserving and maintaining this toy.

The grain of the leather feels light and really good when dragged against skin, and despite not being quite as shapely as the one on the rubber strap I reviewed previously, the handle feels comfortable and easy to grip on to. Basically, it’s really simple but well put together. As to how it actually feels, this paddle is good and rigid, creating a pretty thuddy sensation during light impact play. It builds up nicely to a more stinging sensation the harder you hit, however – I think it’s the smoothness of the leather that helps create that stinging, slap-tastic burn. Nevertheless, this paddle provides a solid feel without allowing the impact to go too deep into the tissue like a harder substance such as wood might, and I enjoy the “just right” balance between thuddy/deep and flexy/surface sensations. Because it’s not floppy enough to create a wraparound effect like with the rubber strap, it’s better for accuracy and aiming straight off the bat – no need to science out some flap-physics.

I really think this would be a great investment piece for anyone looking to get into the scene. It’s such a great, basic, effective item to have in your toolkit. Anyone in the scene is going to know how to use it, and it’s visually familiar enough so that even n00bs will know what to do with it just from pop culture osmosis. This is my personal go-to paddle because it’s such a great balance of extremes. It is simple and unpretentious and does the job perfectly and I love it for this.

Like what you see? Check out MEO at the links below, and be sure to say hi on social media because they are super nice! Just be aware that their site is NSFW so visit when on you’re on a safe network. Happy smacking!

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